Tag Archives: text messages

The “Emoticons” Guy

Online Dating,

I understand that texting is a way to communicate and express yourself.  I tend to be cutesy with my use of emoticons, but I am also an expressive and happy person so they are just a tool for me to convey my feelings.  This might be hypocritical but I am kind of turned off by guys who use an excessive amount of emoticons–especially the cutesy ones.  One or two smiley faces at the end of the conversation is ok “Have a good night :)”  but a smiley face or a winky face in each text message is way too much. It makes me picture a constantly smiling, talking to children cartoon character or something which is a little creepy.

 

The “Adventurous” Date

Online Dating,

My friend met up with this guy from an online dating site.  The first dates are generally short and sweet, just to make sure they are who they say they are and that maybe a second date will happen.  After the first decent date, they spent a few days with nice and flirtatious text messages.  He texted “would you like to go out again? We can have an adventure.”  She told me about it and was happy that he asked her out again, and we mused about what kind of “adventure” he could possibly be planning. A nice hike or a cool new restaurant?  Who knows.  She responded that she would love to and they decided on a day about a week out.  Two days before this “adventurous” date, he texted her and said “so what did you have in mind? I can meet you where ever”  Wait…he asked her out, he specifically said they would have an adventure and now he wants her to plan it? First of all, if you are asking someone out, take some initiative and plan it.  Secondly, if you specify that it will be something awesome, you should probably already have something planned.

The “Wasted” Guy

Red Flags In Relationships,

My boyfriend and I took a trip back to the town where he went to college. He loved the area and a bunch of his friends were still there; got jobs after college and settled down.  It was a nice place and we had a great time playing tourist (I actually was a tourist and he was reminiscing).

He texted a bunch of his college buddies that he was back in town and wanted to hang out for the night.  To be clear–these people had graduated from college at least 10 years prior to this story and were now in their early 30s.

It was a nice mini getaway and our first hotel stay together. I was excited to see all the cool touristy stuff and meet his college friends.  One of his friends started texting him stuff like “so glad you’re back in town, man–we are gonna make you throw up tonight! Get ready to get WASTED.”

I asked if his buddy was joking and he said “no, I totally want to throw up with them tonight!” I was so confused because I had never seen that side of him–and also drinking with the intention of throwing up is pretty strange.

I was judgy about it and said things like “you’re going to get THAT drunk? I don’t want to have to take care of you on our weekend trip.” and “you’ll be hungover and we have so many fun things planned for tomorrow!” He got mad at me and said that he never sees his friends anymore and I’m being such an unreasonable girlfriend.

I have no problem with hanging out with his friends, I have no problem with drinking and maybe even getting tipsy–we’re on vacation, whatever.  But is it really necessary to get WASTED and WANT to throw up?  We’re not college kids at a frat party.

The “You’re Cute” Guy

Guy My Friend Has Dated,

My friend went out with this guy and everything seemed to be going well.  She got home and saw that he had texted her.  She expected it to be a normal “hey I had a great time” kind of post-date text but literally all he said was “you’re cute.”  The end, no follow up with it being nice to meet her, or they should do it again. Just “you’re cute” period.  She never responded and he never followed up. Makes me wonder what some guys are thinking–what did he expect her response to me “OMG thanks! You’re cute too!”

The “Who is That?” Guy

Red Flags In Relationships,

I spent a lot of time with my boyfriend, and unsurprisingly my phone would occasionally *bing* with a text message. Every Single Time my phone made a noise, my boyfriend would say “who is that?”  I didn’t really think too much about it in the beginning; it wasn’t that weird.  Maybe he was asking out of curiosity or because we were supposed to meet up with people later.  So the first few times it didn’t bother me but it consistently continued to happen with every noise my phone made! It started to get really irritating and then seemed weird and possessive.  I never asked him who was texting him, nor did I really care. If your phone can’t make noise without it bringing out jealous in your insecure boyfriend that is a huge red flag.

The “No-Texts” Guy

Red Flags In Relationships,

I was in a long distance relationship and due to the time difference–it was really hard for us to constantly stay in touch. He would call or text me while I was sleeping and my phone would *ding* in the middle of the night and sometimes wake me up.  I didn’t really mind, but one night I told him that I really wanted a good night sleep so I was keeping my phone on silent.  I told him that he was free to text or call as much as he wanted after I went to bed and it would not disturb me.  Finally he could communicate and not be worried about it disrupting my sleep!

I woke up in the morning expecting a couple of cute text messages and maybe even a voicemail and I had NOTHING. No texts, no calls. Aside from that itself being unusual, I specifically told him my phone was going to be off so that he COULD communicate with me–since he did almost every night.  The one night that I told him it was totally acceptable and I wanted to hear from him, is the one night he decided not to text at all.

The “Sorry that Didn’t Work Out” Guy

Online Dating,

I was messaging back and forth with this guy, and we finally exchanged numbers.  We decided to meet up on Monday.  This is the timeline of events:

Monday (day of date):                                                                                                                                     Him: I’m SO sorry something came up can we reschedule for Thursday.                                 Me: Sure no problem.

Wednesday (day before date):                                                                                                                       Me: I’m SO sorry–I came down with a terrible cold and I really don’t think I’ll be able to meet tomorrow.  Can we aim for this weekend–I will rest up and hopefully be better by then.                                                                                                                                                                        Him: Aw I’m out of town all weekend!  Oh well, too bad that didn’t work out.                       Me: Sorry…what?                                                                                                                                            Him:  I’m just not looking for anything serious and didn’t want to put too much effort in.  Me: Oh, I didn’t realize rescheduling twice constituted as “too much effort.” And if you’re just looking for sex–stick to tinder.                                                                                                           Him: haha

I was being totally serious! Don’t go on legitimate dating sites if you just want to have sex.

The “Sexting” Guy

Guy My Friend Has Dated,

My friend went on one date with this guy and she had a good time.  After they had dinner, he hung out at her place for a bit and they kissed a little (nothing more than that).

After the first date they were doing the casual texting like “I had a nice time, we should do dinner again soon.”  etc.  And then the conversations took a quick turn when he started saying things like “yeah I can totally picture having my way with you on your stairwell.”  Wait….what?  How did this go from a decent guy having dinner and kissing to weird sexting post first date.

She kept trying to play it off with “haha.”  And did not reciprocate the sexting–and quickly realized he was not kidding and then it was just awkward.

ESPECIALLY after the FIRST no-sex date—if you would not say these things to a woman to her face–DON’T text them.  Nowadays men feel like they have a screen to hide behind and say ridiculous inappropriate things that they would never actually verbalize.

The “Dramatic Break-Up” Guy

Online Dating,

I met this guy online and we went on about three nice dates.  No major sparks flying, but I was having fun.  I texted him to see if he wanted to hang out that weekend and instead of answering he texted “can you come by my place after work today? Or I can go to your place…I want to talk to you in person.”  What–why?  “I don’t think we should keep hanging out and I want to talk to you about it in person.”

Dude–we’ve been on THREE dates and we met online. If you’re not feeling it, I can’t blame you.  No need for a huge dramatic in-person “break-up.”  I told him that if he wanted to end things with me, he can just tell me via text–I’m not going to drive to his place to get dumped. He texted that he didn’t think we are a good fit.  I said fine, it was nice meeting you–end of conversation.  That really wasn’t so hard and would have been way more awkward in person.

The “Standing Outside” Guy

Guy I've Actually Dated,

I was going on maybe a third or fourth date with this guy–I had gotten to the restaurant right on time, so I went in and asked for a table for two.  Since I was on time and he was obviously late–I assumed he would walk into the restaurant so I made sure to sit looking at the door.  After a few minutes, I see him walk right up to the door–and then awkwardly stand right outside. He was late–didn’t come in to take a look around, and clearly assumed I would stand outside the restaurant if I were there.  I kind of creepily watched him to see how long he would wait for. I was a little offended that he stood there assuming I was late–since I had been prompt on our previous dates.  Then I finally get a text from him saying “I’m standing outside” and I just said “yep–I’m sitting inside.”  That was the last date we had–he probably thought I was the weird one.