My friend had a thing with this guy, and it wasn’t totally working out so they ended it. He sent her this long sob story about how he misses her and thinks about her etc. She assured me that he was not drunk. In the text messages she showed me, there were a ton of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. No one is perfect, especially when they are emotional, but if you are trying to win back a girl, you should make sure you seem pretty intelligent and educated.
I was dating a guy who was really busy. He worked one full time job and one part time job. I happened to meet him during a lull, so for the first few weeks, we spent a ton of time together. I had to learn to adjust, and I understood that he had a taxing schedule. We saw each other less, which wasn’t a big deal. I got a text from him one day that started with “hey, so I feel like I’m really letting you down…” and went into a long spiel about how he can’t spend as much time with me etc. I was a little confused, thinking it might be his way of saying he no longer wants to date me. I responded with “I totally understand that you’re busy and really don’t mind.” Or something like that. He didn’t respond, which is what made me think he was kind of breaking up with me. Anyway, fast forward a couple days–I did hear from him to want to hang out, so we had a date and it seemed totally normal. I asked him about his cryptic text and what he meant by it, and why he never responded. He said he just felt like he was really letting me down with the lack of time we spend together and wanted to tell me. He didn’t respond because he just “forgot” or “got busy.” I don’t mind not seeing each other super often, but sending cryptic text messages and then leaving me hanging isn’t the best way to start off dating someone.
*This was a serious boyfriend* I was on a trip and the entire time, he would text me “goodnight” before he went to bed–every night. A week into the trip, he did not. I texted him and he didn’t respond, and called him to leave a voicemail. It got later and later and I was genuinely getting concerned. It was very uncharacteristic of him–I had a boyfriend that texted me “goodnight” every night while I was on my trip, failed to and then wasn’t answering his texts or picking up his phone. Was everything ok? Did something happen to him? Did he lose his phone? Or did he just fall asleep and forget? I sent him an email that I was a little worried that he wasn’t responding, and I hope he didn’t lose his phone or something–just to call me when he gets the email.
He called me the next morning, apologizing that he had fallen asleep really early and didn’t text me. He also said “that was a little intense” in regards to my reaction. I was genuinely offended! This was not some guy that I had gone on a couple dates with. This was a serious, long-term boyfriend who texted me every night so EXCUSE ME for being concerned about you.
My friend, Kelly went on a date with this guy she met online. She thought it went well, but then she never heard from him again. THREE MONTHS LATER he texted her and said “Hey Kelly, what’s up? Do you want to hang out sometime?”
She was confused. Kelly is a pretty common name–they had one date months ago and now out of the blue he’s texting her again? She said “are you texting the right person?” He said “I think so.” She told him that they had gone on one date three months ago, and she never heard from him again. He was like “Yes! I think this is the right Kelly, but send me a picture of you just in case.” What?! NO THANKS.
I had a friend who met this guy and they hit it off. At the time, my friend did not have unlimited texting, so she downloaded an app where she could receive texts, but it would not calculate as part of the text messages used in her plan. Once it got to a point with this guy where they were texting often, she told him to text her on the other number. Apparently with this app–it’s still on her phone, but in order to receive the messages, it has it’s own separate number to text to.
This was far beyond his comprehension. “Wait..so you have two cell phones?” She explained that she had one cell phone but the app has a different number. “So you have two phone plans on one phone?” No…she only has one phone plan–it’s JUST the texting app that has an independent number. “So can I call this number too?” No…that number is just for texting…nothing else-it’s not an actual phone. Just the number is for texting. “So you ONLY have one phone?”
To be honest, because they had just met and they were still in the “texting, getting to know you” phase–this lack of understanding was such a turn off for her she wasn’t sure if it was worth it.
And for the record when she told me she had different number for texting I said “ok” and added it to my phone with (text) after her name.
My friends think I am SO picky when it comes to online dating–and I definitely am! I feel like I have to be, and it’s so easy when there are obviously other people out there. One thing I absolutely cannot stand are misspelled words. There is no excuse for this! We live in a day and age when there is automatic spell check in almost everything–as I am typing this document, little red lines appear on the misspelled words. The same thing happens on smart phones and even IN the message box as you are typing on a dating site. Do people just ignore the squiggly red lines? I am very confused about this.
Some guys write so poorly that I honestly cannot even figure out what they are trying to say. Another thing that is annoying to me personally is the use of lowercase letters when it should be capitalized, and text speak, i. e “hey, wut r u up 2 2nite?” I understand that this has somewhat become the norm in our society, especially amongst young people. And maybe I am being too picky. But my argument here is, although I can understand it, and admittedly abbreviate text messages to friends sometimes–this is an online dating site. This is made for him to put his BEST foot forward, and a way to get him to impress women. If he cannot even bother to spell check, or type coherently, in what I can only assume is the presentation of his “best self” I would hate to see what happens once he lets his guard down.
I tell my friends when I have a date, and what we’ll be doing, and what I think of him so far. Blah blah–just girl talk. Apparently guys have this conversation too. I was on an OK date–he was nice and after lunch we decided to walk around. He takes out his phone and says it’s totally blowing up. I asked him if everything is ok, and he said that he told all his friends that he was going on a date so they are all texting him
“hey! how did it go?”
“Hey how was she?”
“what do you think of her?!”
“are you guys going on a second date?”
“how did the date end?”
“did you make plans for a second date?”
This was from several different people, and he probably had about 30 messages. I’m not really sure how I feel about this–maybe this guy doesn’t date often so this was a huge deal and his friends are really supportive and excited for him. I think the weird part for me is that he told me and showed/read some of the text messages while we were on the date. Way to be smooth, man.