I once dated a guy who had a major pointing problem and it was really embarrassing. One night we were out to dinner and of course my ex walks in. Awkward enough. I just casually said “oh, man, my ex is here.” The guy I was on a date with conspicuously looks around and straight up stretches his arm, full-on points and says (not quietly) “Who? That guy?” I said “um…could you not point at him please?” He drew his arms in and whispered “but is it that guy?” still pointing, although not as obviously. It’s awkward enough running into an ex when you’re on a date, but to have the guy you’re on a date with literally point it out is mortifying.
I was going out with this guy and I thought things were going well. We had gone on several dates and I felt like we really had a connection. One night thing were going really well so I asked if he wanted to spend the night at my place. His exact words were “I can’t sleep over since the last two girls I slept over with became my girlfriend.”
I didn’t even know where to start–first of all, super offensive that you are basically saying you never want me to be your girlfriend. Secondly, that is a totally weird correlation–did these previous women imprison you till you agreed to be in a relationship with them?
It’s kind of a long story, but my friend broke up with her ex-boyfriend for many reasons, but one of which was that he had a serious drinking problem. Fast-forward a few years and she’s back on the dating scene. At this point everyone is pretty open about exes (we all have a past) so bringing it up isn’t a big deal. She was on a first date with this guy and things were going when when they got into the “exes” topic.
She was honest and said one of the reasons they broke up was because her ex boyfriend had a drinking problem. When she relayed this story to me–we are pretty convinced that THIS dude has a drinking problem. He reacted pretty strangely:
What do you MEAN drinking problem? LIke he drinks every night? What’s wrong with that? Like he drinks till he blacked out? If it’s only occasional that’s not a big deal, right? How many drinks is too many drinks? How do you know it was a problem–maybe he just liked the taste?
She never saw that guy again, no point in repeating the past.
According to his profile, we had a lot in common and I was really excited for this date. He was exactly what I expected and we definitely had a spark during the dinner. He talked about a break up he went through (which was totally fine).
Break-ups are tough, I had gone through what sounded like a similar break-up, and I told him that. He asked how long ago it was and I said “oh, don’t worry, that was over 2 years ago, it’s not like I’m on the rebound or anything.” Then I asked him when he went through this break up he was referring to and he said “2 weeks ago.”
He said he signed up for online dating a week ago. So–he was in a serious relationship, describing a serious and heart breaking experience and this happened two weeks ago?! I was so confused at how he could be ok with this since it usually takes more than a week to get over a serious break up.
I liked him so much I decided to go on a second date with him (ex girlfriend came up again). This time he said he is not looking for anything serious–just wanted to date around again, and probably should have taken more time post-break up to recover. (duh). I SHOULD have realized this after the first date, but I was dumb and advice from others said if he made the conscious decision to online date he MUST be ready. Not the case.
I was with this guy for a while and I knew that his ex girlfriend had some insecurities when it came to me. I had never actually met her, but some of his friends still kept in touch with her, so it was sometimes a little awkward.
He invited me to his friends house for a BBQ. As we were driving there, I was asking him which friends these are, and who was going to be there. We are literally pulling up to the house and as he’s naming people he says “oh, my ex girlfriend will be there.” I looked at him kind of shocked that I was not warned about this ahead of time–she and I had never interacted. And he said “don’t worry, I told her you’re coming.” Which I assume was supposed to be comforting, but I made him pass the house, pull over and I said “WHAT?!”
I told him I was shocked that he would have the forethought to courteously tell his ex girlfriend that his new girlfriend was going to be with him at the BBQ, meanwhile completely blindsiding his new girlfriend 30 seconds before we pull into the house with a “oh…by the way…”
When your current boyfriend has more respect for his ex girlfriends feelings than for yours, that is probably a sign that you should get out while you can.