I once dated a guy who had a major pointing problem and it was really embarrassing. One night we were out to dinner and of course my ex walks in. Awkward enough. I just casually said “oh, man, my ex is here.” The guy I was on a date with conspicuously looks around and straight up stretches his arm, full-on points and says (not quietly) “Who? That guy?” I said “um…could you not point at him please?” He drew his arms in and whispered “but is it that guy?” still pointing, although not as obviously. It’s awkward enough running into an ex when you’re on a date, but to have the guy you’re on a date with literally point it out is mortifying.
My friend had gone out with this guy a couple times. She was comfortable enough to invite him over to dinner. He came over and she cooked while he hung out on a barstool. She does not claim to be the most amazing chef, but she thought she was decent and was happy to cook dinner for him. It was a new recipe she thought she would try. She set the table and they started eating while having a good conversation. During a lull in the conversation she asked what he thought of the food and he said “it’s edible.”
She was a little startled but just moved on to a different topic. When she told me the story I was offended FOR her. Calling someone else’s dinner “edible” is literally the most basic thing you can say about it and anything worse would be a complete insult. I understand that her food may not have been the best and maybe he even hated it. But this is a girl you are dating who you just watched cook this dinner for you. He could have said something remotely polite.
My friend was at a dinner party with some mutual friends and their families. She talked to a bunch of people, including one guy who was single. His family was there, which made it a little awkward, but he was nice and friendly. It was a very mature party so no numbers were exchanged or anything and she had a good time. As she was leaving, his mom came up to her and said that her son is really shy, so she should definitely make the first move.
What?! It’s not like they were flirting all night, they both just happened to be single. He was nice but it was strange to have his mother vouch for him and tell her she should be more aggressive. That was a little bit of a turn-off for her, for several reasons. Was something totally wrong with this guy that his mommy needs to get dates for him? She also figured if he liked her, they would hang out again–they have mutual friends, getting information wouldn’t be hard. She didn’t ever go on a date with him, that killed it for her.
I was dating this guy who would specifically tell me that he thought of “talking points” for our dates. Sure, everyone does it, want to make sure there are no awkward silences, whatever. But he was incredibly awkwardly calculated about it. For example “I thought of some talking points earlier today since I knew we were going to dinner–if you could be any kind of animal what would you be?”
I actually thought it was funny and endearing at first, but after a while I realized that conversations with someone you are dating should flow nicely and not be so awkwardly calculated.
I got really busy at work so I was having less time to hang out with my boyfriend. He went to dinner one-on-one with this woman I had never met a few times. I knew that they were kind of friends, but I’m not sure how well they knew each other. I didn’t say anything, ever.
I am not a jealous person, I hate it when my friends are weirdly jealous of their significant others and I strive not to be like that. He continued to go out with this woman and I continued to not say anything, even though I thought it was weird, and in hindsight kind of inappropriate. One night, we were texting and I said something along the lines of “oh, you guys are going out again tonight?” And he responded with “don’t be jealous, she’s my dinner buddy.” WHOA RED FLAG. I definitely should have seen it right then, but of course I didn’t and it blew up in my face.
We were going to get dinner and he was driving my car. He parked on the street and the street sign said “no parking 7:30am-6:30pm.” It was 6pm. I said “we can’t park here.” He said that they are not going to check in 30 minutes and we would be fine. Being that it was MY car, I did not feel comfortable with this, and continued to insist that he find another parking spot. He was getting visibly annoyed with me, so finally I said “If I get a parking ticket, then you are going to pay for it.” He just said “yeah, yeah but you’re not going to get one.”
After dinner, *surprise* a parking ticket is waiting for me! He takes it and says he’s going to pay for it. Parking tickets double in fine if it is not paid within 30 days. Knowing all of this, and knowing that the ticket was for a car registered to me, I would ask every couple days if he paid it. He kept dismissing it saying it was “at his desk at work” and he was “waiting till he got paid.” After a couple of weeks he started to get annoyed with me saying that I was being naggy and annoying and that he would get around to it.
This was not the deciding factor, but it did play a role in my decision to end things with him. I can’t be with someone who would be so disrespectful. A couple days after I officially ended it, I received this in the mail:
Which I was upset about, but so happy that it confirmed any suspicion I had of him being a complete douchebag. Thanks.