The guy I was dating was complaining to me about a woman he works with. He was talking about how frustrating it is because she would say things like “aw you poor thing.” And calls people “honey.” I said “wow, she sounds like she’s really condescending. His response was “she’s not condescending, she just talks to everyone like they’re a four year old.” …what?
This is one of my ex boyfriends–he is remaining nameless in case he ever stumbles upon this blog. I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person–and I considered him a fairly intelligent person (at first). He was well-educated, he had a good job etc etc.
We would get into HUGE stupid fights because he was mildly intimidated by my intelligence which was so weird for me because I never thought that I was smarter than him–he just had a weird complex. This conversation lead to one of the biggest fights we ever had:
Me: Can you be more articulate, I don’t understand what you’re saying.
Me: You need to be more articulate, I can’t understand you.
Me: You’re mumbling! You need to speak more clearly, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Him: Why didn’t you just say “speak more clearly?!” Why do you have to say “Be more articulate?!” You are trying to use big words to make me feel stupid!
(I sincerely wish I were exaggerating this conversation to be comical, but I assure you, I am not)
Me: I’m not trying to make you feel stupid! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be condescending.
Him: You’re doing it again! Why do you have to say “condescending.” I’m sorry I’m not as smart as you, but you don’t have to rub it in my face!
And it pretty much escalated from there.
This does not just have to do with using big words–if any man is remotely intimidated by your intelligence, your success, your career, ANYTHING, it is definitely a relationship red flag.