I generally feel better and more relaxed when I have a clean and un-cluttered house. I don’t think this is unusual, most people feel happy and at ease when everything is put away and they can come home to a tidy place. I expressed this to the guy I was dating and he made me feel like it was the dumbest thing anyone has ever said. “I don’t understand why your surroundings should matter, if you’re a happy person, you should be happy no matter what your house looks like.” At the time, I really did feel stupid for being happy about cleaning my house but now that we aren’t dating and I’ve moved on, as I’ve reflected on his statements I realize how douchey they are.
My friend was going on a trip to Chicago for work. Her boyfriend was originally from Chicago and his dad wasn’t doing so well. She thought it would be nice to pay for his plane ticket; he could stay in the company paid hotel with her and he could see his sick father. I don’t know how the conversation came about, but in her mind that’s what she was doing. I thought that was extremely generous and he would not have been able to afford a ticket and a stay to see his dad otherwise.
They landed at the airport and were getting their luggage. She said she asked him how they would get to the hotel–maybe he could go to information and ask? He replied in a snarky tone“this isn’t my trip.”
So…he thought he was doing her a favor by coming along? I would have been so offended and sent him right back on a plane. My friend didn’t do that, but she was pretty pissed.
I was dating this guy and he called me up to tell me that he and some friends were going to the movies and invited me. I asked what movie–it was some horrible comedy that I had seen previews for and was not remotely interested in seeing. I politely told him that I was not interested in the movie and that we would see each other soon. He said he wanted to spend time with me and insisted I come. I liked him, but I honestly did NOT want to sit through the movie. Sitting through some horrible movie for two hours with his friends isn’t something I would consider “quality time.” Again, I told him I really did not want to see the movie, and thought it would be a waste of time and money. He countered, by telling me that he would pay for me. This was not an issue of wasting MY money–I would not want ANYONE to waste money on me for a movie I did not want to see. I understand that he was hurt that I would not come, and that he genuinely did want to spend time with me. But his lack of respecting my decision and trying to get me to do something I had absolutely no desire to do was a complete turn off.
To be in the Halloween spirit, I decided to post this story. Years ago for Halloween, I wanted to be a character from a movie. I took a screenshot of her and showed it to the guy I was dating when we were shopping for Halloween costumes. This is the exact image I showed him:
So I got the high knee socks, and plaid skirt. I already had a black jacket, so I didn’t want to buy another one. I showed him the jacket and he was like “wait, yours has black buttons and this one is gold!” My bow-tie was also all black and he zoomed up on the picture and was like “but hers has a little red in it!”
He seriously agonized over the image, picking apart every tiny detail, and criticizing my lax way of doing my costume. It’s a Halloween costume, not a look alike contest. And for the record, people still got it. It was really weird and really annoying when I thought going Halloween costume shopping together would be fun.
This story is for baseball season. My friend is really into sports, and is from LA so naturally a Dodgers fan. She met a guy online and on their date, baseball came up and she mentioned that her team is the Dodgers. He literally said “Dodgers are cocksuckers.”
I’m confused–he is on a first date with a woman, she mentions she’s a fan of the Dodgers, and that is his response?! Sure, if you hate the Dodgers, that’s fine, but why would you says “cocksuckers” to a woman on a first date, and why would you describe your disliking for a sports team like that? I feel like there were much more tactful ways he could have stated that he does not share an interest in her baseball team.
I have a friend who has an insanely busy job. On the days that she has off, she would like to sleep in. She tells her boyfriend to please let her rest, she really needs it. He is an early riser. Every time, without fail, he wakes her up super early and wants to cuddle or more. She is grumpy, gets mad at him, just wants to sleep in and they end up getting into fights. He says he wants to spend time with her on her days off, so he wakes her up early. He is specifically asked to NOT wake her up early, and fails to do it. It’s not that hard to just let someone sleep in.
I was going out with this guy and I thought things were going well. We had gone on several dates and I felt like we really had a connection. One night thing were going really well so I asked if he wanted to spend the night at my place. His exact words were “I can’t sleep over since the last two girls I slept over with became my girlfriend.”
I didn’t even know where to start–first of all, super offensive that you are basically saying you never want me to be your girlfriend. Secondly, that is a totally weird correlation–did these previous women imprison you till you agreed to be in a relationship with them?
If you plan a day, time and place to meet someone, BE THERE. I asked my friend if she wanted to get brunch, and she said she couldn’t because he had a date with some guy she was talking to from an online site. Great! I texted her that night to ask her how it went and she said “he never showed up.” I was so confused! I thought there HAD to be some kind of miscommunication or explanation that later he would text and say he went to the wrong restaurant or something like that. She showed me the text messages and it was absolutely clear when and where they would meet. I felt so bad thinking about her sitting there by herself and waiting, but she said she knows other women who have experienced the same thing. I asked if she texted or called him to demand an explanation and she said no, she was over it.