I once dated a guy who had a major pointing problem and it was really embarrassing. One night we were out to dinner and of course my ex walks in. Awkward enough. I just casually said “oh, man, my ex is here.” The guy I was on a date with conspicuously looks around and straight up stretches his arm, full-on points and says (not quietly) “Who? That guy?” I said “um…could you not point at him please?” He drew his arms in and whispered “but is it that guy?” still pointing, although not as obviously. It’s awkward enough running into an ex when you’re on a date, but to have the guy you’re on a date with literally point it out is mortifying.
My friend lived with her boyfriend. He was really weird and controlling, insisting they go to bed at the same time each night and wake up at the same time every morning. So he would never let her sleep in, or if he wanted to sleep in, he would get mad that she would dare get out of bed before he woke up. This meant if there is a game on he wanted to watched, she couldn’t go to bed while he stays up to watch it–she had to stay up until he was ready for bed. This was definitely a red flag–never be with someone who controls your sleep schedule.
I generally feel better and more relaxed when I have a clean and un-cluttered house. I don’t think this is unusual, most people feel happy and at ease when everything is put away and they can come home to a tidy place. I expressed this to the guy I was dating and he made me feel like it was the dumbest thing anyone has ever said. “I don’t understand why your surroundings should matter, if you’re a happy person, you should be happy no matter what your house looks like.” At the time, I really did feel stupid for being happy about cleaning my house but now that we aren’t dating and I’ve moved on, as I’ve reflected on his statements I realize how douchey they are.