Monthly Archives: October 2016

The “Halloween Costume” Guy

To be in the Halloween spirit, I decided to post this story.  Years ago for Halloween, I wanted to be a character from a movie.  I took a screenshot of her and showed it to the guy I was dating when we were shopping for Halloween costumes. This is the exact image I showed him:





So I got the high knee socks, and plaid skirt.  I already had a black jacket, so I didn’t want to buy another one.  I showed him the jacket and he was like “wait, yours has black buttons and this one is gold!”  My bow-tie was also all black and he zoomed up on the picture and was like “but hers has a little red in it!”

He seriously agonized over the image, picking apart every tiny detail, and criticizing my lax way of doing my costume.  It’s a Halloween costume, not a look alike contest. And for the record, people still got it. It was really weird and really annoying when I thought going Halloween costume shopping together would be fun.

The “Baseball” Guy

This story is for baseball season.  My friend is really into sports, and is from LA so naturally a Dodgers fan. She met a guy online and on their date, baseball came up and she mentioned that her team is the Dodgers.  He literally said “Dodgers are cocksuckers.”

I’m confused–he is on a first date with a woman, she mentions she’s a fan of the Dodgers, and that is his response?!  Sure, if you hate the Dodgers, that’s fine, but why would you says “cocksuckers” to a woman on a first date, and why would you describe your disliking for a sports team like that?  I feel like there were much more tactful ways he could have stated that he does not share an interest in her baseball team.

The “Cryptic Texter” Guy

I was dating a guy who was really busy. He worked one full time job and one part time job. I happened to meet him during a lull, so for the first few weeks, we spent a ton of time together.  I had to learn to adjust, and I understood that he had a taxing schedule.  We saw each other less, which wasn’t a big deal.  I got a text from him one day that started with “hey, so I feel like I’m really letting you down…” and went into a long spiel about how he can’t spend as much time with me etc.  I was a little confused, thinking it might be his way of saying he no longer wants to date me.  I responded with “I totally understand that you’re busy and really don’t mind.” Or something like that.  He didn’t respond, which is what made me think he was kind of breaking up with me.  Anyway, fast forward a couple days–I did hear from him to want to hang out, so we had a date and it seemed totally normal.  I asked him about his cryptic text and what he meant by it, and why he never responded.  He said he just felt like he was really letting me down with the lack of time we spend together and wanted to tell me.  He didn’t respond because he just “forgot” or “got busy.”  I don’t mind not seeing each other super often, but sending cryptic text messages and then leaving me hanging isn’t the best way to start off dating someone.

The “Early-Riser” Guy

I have a friend who has an insanely busy job.  On the days that she has off, she would like to sleep in. She tells her boyfriend to please let her rest, she really needs it.  He is an early riser.  Every time, without fail, he wakes her up super early and wants to cuddle or more.  She is grumpy, gets mad at him, just wants to sleep in and they end up getting into fights.  He says he wants to spend time with her on her days off, so he wakes her up early.  He is specifically asked to NOT wake her up early, and fails to do it.  It’s not that hard to just let someone sleep in.

The “Won’t Sleep Over” Guy

I was going out with this guy and I thought things were going well.  We had gone on several dates and I felt like we really had a connection.  One night thing were going really well so I asked if he wanted to spend the night at my place.  His exact words were “I can’t sleep over since the last two girls I slept over with became my girlfriend.”

I didn’t even know where to start–first of all, super offensive that you are basically saying you never want me to be your girlfriend.  Secondly, that is a totally weird correlation–did these previous women imprison you till you agreed to be in a relationship with them?

The “No Show” Guy

If you plan a day, time and place to meet someone, BE THERE.  I asked my friend if she wanted to get brunch, and she said she couldn’t because he had a date with some guy she was talking to from an online site.  Great! I texted her that night to ask her how it went and she said “he never showed up.”  I was so confused! I thought there HAD to be some kind of miscommunication or explanation that later he would text and say he went to the wrong restaurant or something like that.  She showed me the text messages and it was absolutely clear when and where they would meet.  I felt so bad thinking about her sitting there by herself and waiting, but she said she knows other women who have experienced the same thing.  I asked if she texted or called him to demand an explanation and she said no, she was over it.

The “Trust Issues” Guy

I believe in being open and honest in a relationship.  If I am driving and my phone dings, I have no problem handing it to my boyfriend and asking him to read the text to me.  I have nothing to hide.  I am a really deep sleeper and I sleep with my phone on the nightstand.  When I woke-up, I checked my phone and noticed that some messages I had gotten the previous day were “read” when I had not read them.  I didn’t think too much about it until my boyfriend said he went through  my phone while I was sleeping and asked me about some of the guys that had texted me.  What?!

For the record at this point in my life, I had a really needy/semi-obsessed ex who texted once in awhile about wanting me back and how we “had something special” etc.  But I was totally honest about that in my current relationship and he knew my ex had issues.  I rarely responded other than to say things like “sorry, you need to move on.” It was never my intention to be MEAN to my ex, we did have a connection at one point, and I just continued to gently remind him that I had moved on and he should too.

I guess I never let my current boyfriend READ these messages, and I did absolutely nothing wrong.  But he questioned everything like why my ex kept saying we “had it” and that we lost it.  NEWSFLASH–you are not the first guy I’ve ever dated, and I was in committed relationships previously.  Clearly my ex is having issues moving on, which is sad, but really has nothing to do with my current relationship.  It absolutely does not give my boyfriend the right to GO THROUGH MY PHONE WHILE I’M SLEEPING.  If you have a problem with my ex texting me, tell me. If you want to know what he’s saying, ask me.  I absolutely would have volunteered the information so I was infuriated and offended.


The “Gold-Digger” Guy

I would often double date with my friend and her boyfriend.  It started to be a trend–my boyfriend and I noticed that she ALWAYS paid when it came time to split the check.  I’m all for strong, independent women, but he would never even offer or pretend to take out his wallet.  Every time the check came, he would sit there and she would pay for it.  I guess she made more money than him, and he was perfectly comfortable letting her take the reigns with the money?  One time the check came while she had left the table to go to the bathroom. Instead of waiting for her to return, or taking out his own wallet, he literally reached over, grabbed her purse, took her wallet out, slid out her credit card and put it down on the bill. What?! I understand that she was probably the breadwinner and probably paid for most things, but at least wait two minutes for her to do that herself, don’t reach into your girlfriend’s’ belongings for money to pay for your meal.

The “Bad Kisser” Guy

This story totally bums me out because I felt like I definitely had a spark with this guy.  We hit it off, things were going really well and the first time we made out it was indescribably awful.  Like teeth on teeth, saliva dripping everywhere.  I honestly cringe just re-living it to type this. If he had been halfway decent, maybe I would agree to go out with him again and we could work through it, but this was beyond repair.  I kept making out with him hoping it would get better and at one point I had to stop him and say “can you stop using so much teeth?” It was nails on a chalkboard unbearable.  I never saw him again.