My friend who is online dating received such a captivating message, she could not help but screen shot it and share it with me. It said “Hello puny human, my name is …. Now you have been introduced to your overload.”
I thought it was funny, and it sure got my attention. But I can see how for an online dating site, he was going about it a little strangely. Hopefully this guy meets a woman equally weird.
I dated this guy who was living far from his parents. I understand that that is hard for some people–I am close with my parents as well. They took it really hard and he had to talk to them every day on the phone. I didn’t think that was THAT weird, it’s nice to talk to your parents and keep them up to date on your life.
They came to visit and I asked him where they would stay. He said they would stay in his house. He had a one bedroom without a pull-out couch. I was confused on why they wouldn’t get a hotel. I asked him where they would sleep and he said in his bed with him. So his parents came all the way to visit him and they both slept in his bed with him? Super weird. He understood that I thought it was weird and said that his parents are just very attached to him. He said that they have taken family vacations in hotel rooms with two beds, and he tries to sleep in the other bed and they get offended. They really really want to sleep in the same bed as him. He said when he tries to sleep away from him, they guilt trip him and ask him why he doesn’t want to sleep with them and it’s the least they can do since he moved so far away and they never see him any more.
I thought it was completely strange that a grown man was forced to sleep with both of his parents in the same bed. That seems to be an unhealthy attachment in my opinion.
My friend is really into sports–specifically baseball; she grew up with all brothers and actually worked with one of the professional teams for a while. She went on a first date and she said he seemed really nice. A game was on and they started talking about baseball. She knows all the players, and the statistics and who won what game etc. She wasn’t bragging about her knowledge, but the conversation naturally flowed since that’s what they were talking about it. Instead of being impressed or excited that he was on a date with a girl that he could talk sports with, he said “you’re a girl, you’re not supposed to know about sports.” She laughed it off but was highly insulted. It was sexist and stereotypical–most guys would be happy to have a girl enjoy watching a game with them.
When I was online dating I listed the places I have lived–I guess to show that I was well-adjusted and had experienced a lot. I grew up in Hawaii, went to college in the mid-west and had found a good career and settled down in Southern California.
I got a message from this guy–I know he read my profile which I appreciated since most men don’t bother but his first question was “have you ever been outside the US to another country besides Hawaii?”
Um…last time I checked, Hawaii is part of the United States, and it has been a state for over 50 years now. How can someone in this day and age possible think it is another country?
I went through phases where I thought I would have kids and then I thought I wouldn’t. At the time I was dating this guy in particular–I was pretty apathetic. If the person I ended up with wanted kids, great, if he did not, that was great too. We had this conversation and he said he never wanted kids, which was fine. As time went on, he mentioned that he would want one kid. I was surprised at this change and wasn’t a huge fan of just ONE. I would want none or at least two–I grew up with siblings and would not want to deprive my child of that. I said I thought he didn’t want to have kids. He said “I don’t” to which I was really confused. I asked why he doesn’t want kids, but he would have just one and his response was “so I have someone to take care of me when I’m older.”
This spurred into a whole conversation–is that the ONLY reason you want to have a child? Yes. The ONLY reason–just so you have someone to take care of you? He questioned who would take care of him if he didn’t have a kid who was obligated–he would get old a senile and end up in an old folks home–but if he had one kid that one child would be responsible to take care of him and he wouldn’t have to worry about it. There is a plethora of things wrong with this logic, but a huge one is how incredibly stupid and selfish it is. He has no intention of raising kids, or doing any of the thing it takes to raise a child–he was just thinking 60 years ahead and not wanting to deal with life.
My boyfriend was always playing a game on his phone. It was one of those apps that you play with your friends. I never understood it, but it was some kind of word game that each player had two minutes to intensely focus on it, and when they were done, the other player would make their move. It bugged me a little–most people who are on their phones are texting or reading an article so I can still talk to them and they can stop and respond at any moment. During this game, he was totally focused, could not look up and could not even listen to what I was saying. If I walked in on him while he was on his phone, or if he decided to play his turn when we were together, I would just sit there in silence for two minutes until he was done.
As if that wasn’t bad enough of a red flag–I asked him how many games he had going on. He said just one. I asked him who he was playing with–he said his ex girlfriend. So…every once in awhile, you decide to ignore me, (your current girlfriend) so you can intensely focus for two minutes to play a game with your ex girlfriend?! I don’t think so.
My friend was acquaintances with this guy and they were therefore already facebook friends. He asked her out, and they went on a couple dates. She didn’t really think too much of it, but after their second date, she got a “relationship request” from him. She was so confused. Sure, they had gone out a couple times and had fun, but he had never once mentioned that he wanted to be more committed nor did “the talk” ever come up.
Then she suddenly received a relationship request from him?! I told her to ask him about it–maybe it was a misunderstanding, maybe it was a joke, maybe his facebook got hacked–who knows?!
The awkward thing was that HIS relationship status kept saying he was in a relationship, and other mutual friends kept bringing it up to her. She finally asked him about it–they had never breached the subject of being girlfriend/boyfriend. His response was that he changed his status because that is how HE felt, and there is no pressure, but she can accept his relationship request at any time.
Um…that’s not exactly how relationships work. OR facebook status relationships for that matter! “I feel like I’m married to you–so I’m just going to tell everyone I’m married and you can accept that whenever you feel like it.” She thought he was a complete weirdo and stopped talking to him. He eventually changed his facebook status back to single.
I happened to mention to this guy I was dating that I am a huge fan of “The Walking Dead.” He texted me one day and said “hey, did you know that Glenn from TWD is the same actor as Short Round from Indiana Jones?!” I was surprised, so I said “really?!” and he said “yeah! I was shocked too!”
To clarify–this guy I was dating is Asian so it most likely was not one of those xenophobic “all asians look alike” kind of thing. It took me about 15 seconds to google it, and find out that they are NOT the same actor. The child that played Short Round in Indiana Jones is about ten years older than Glenn from The Walking Dead, and other than being Asian, they do not look alike. .
I texted him that they were not the same actor and he didn’t believe me and insisted he was right until I literally sent him the Wikipedia links. He said “wow, proved me wrong with the internet, guess they got me again!”
The real problem with this guy is that I do not want to date someone who is just going to believe anything they hear and spread it around, as if it is fact. This is how rumors get started and in this day and age with smart phones it should not be an issue; seconds of research would have revealed the truth.