Monthly Archives: December 2015

The “Picture Taker” Guy

My friend dated this guy who was constantly taking pictures–selfies, food photos, couples photos etc.  It was incredibly distracting–he could never just enjoy the moment and have a good conversation, he was always stopping to take photos.  When the food came out and she was hungry, she couldn’t touch it until after he took a photo.  It’s not even like he was a food blogger or anything–just a social media obsessed picture taker.

The “Laundry” Guy

This is kind of a short entry, but it doesn’t take many words for me to tell you that I dated a guy who did not do laundry.  It was so weird, since he dressed well and seemed put together–but he would wear the same nice shirt 3 times in one month and never wash it.  What totally freaked me out was that he didn’t wash his bedsheets either, so when I stayed over, my face would break out.  Have some common-courtesy hygiene! Ugh.

The “Hospital” Guy

I’ll start this story off by saying that I was diagnosed with a condition that is monitored and totally fine now. I was completely unaware of this condition at the time this happened–I thought I was dehydrated, then I thought I had the flu, then I thought I was fine and back to work.

While I was at work, I ended up passing out, having the paramedics come to my office and whisk me away in an ambulance. It was actually pretty dramatic and surreal.  Anyway the (now conscious and undiagnosed me) is in the emergency room, while they poke and prod me and then leave me with my phone and a TV while they run some tests. All I know is that I fainted, and am now in the emergency room while the doctors try to figure out why.

It was a scary situation and I didn’t want to freak anyone out. For the record, I didn’t even call my mom until I was discharged and at home. So not wanting to alarm him, I texted my boyfriend “hey, so I passed out at work and got taken to the ER in an ambulance, they are running some tests now, everything is fine.”

Our text conversation went like this:

Boyfriend “Ok.  But you’re fine now?”                                                                                                        Me: “Just kind of embarrassed that I got wheeled out in front of my office. Waiting till the doctor comes back.”                                                                                                                             Boyfriend: “Ok, well, I have a meeting at 2, so text me later, bye!”

I was intentionally trying not to worry him–but it would be nice if he were slightly more concerned that his girlfriend loss consciousness at work and is now in the hospital.


The “Shirtless-Selfie” Guy

My friend is online dating and she came upon this good looking guy. In his profile he seemed like a normal, well-rounded person.  She started going through his pictures, which all seemed fairly normal until came upon a douchey shirtless selfie with the caption “obligatory shirtless selfie.”  Since when are men to obliged  to provide a shirtless selfie and why would they think that is a requirement?!

The “Sandwich” Guy

My roommate used to go to bed really early since her job required her to be up really early.  Around 10 at night, way past when she went to bed, I was in the kitchen and she walks in sheepishly–since she had been in bed for a couple hours at this point.  She starts rumanging through the fridge and I asked her what she was doing.  She said “Jordan woke me up since he doesn’t have lunch for tomorrow.”  So here she is making a sandwich at ten o’clock at night. He realized he didn’t have lunch so instead of being a grown man and problem solving (making it yourself, realizing you can just buy something) he wakes his girlfriend up in the middle of the night to make him food.

The “Lunch as Friends” Guy

I always think it’s nice when my boyfriend gets along with my friends.  My boyfriend and I hung out with one of my really good friends, Annie a lot.  She and my boyfriend worked near each other so they decided to get lunch together one day.  I thought it was nice that they were getting along.  But then Annie called me saying she thought it was weird. She said it was not just like a casual lunch stop, he picked a nice restaurant and insisted on paying.  It made her uncomfortable and I’m glad she told me about it.

The “Calculated Conversationalist” Guy

I was dating this guy who would specifically tell me that he thought of “talking points” for our dates. Sure, everyone does it, want to make sure there are no awkward silences, whatever.  But he was incredibly awkwardly calculated about it. For example “I thought of some talking points earlier today since I knew we were going to dinner–if you could be any kind of animal what would you be?”

I actually thought it was funny and endearing at first, but after a while I realized that conversations with someone you are dating should flow nicely and not be so awkwardly calculated.


The “Going Away Party” Guy

My friend was dating this guy for a couple weeks, and things were going well.  There was a long weekend and she decided to fly home to visit her family for a couple days.  Not a big deal, she would be gone for one weekend and she was spending time with her family.  This guy texted her roommates, begging them to leave the house the night before she left because he needed to spend time with her.  He insisted that it was a big going away thing, and they really needed privacy.

Of course her roommates told her, and she was totally freaked out.  This guy can’t handle her being away for 3 days? And if she does go away for 3 days it has to be a huge bon voyage event? AND he kicked her roommates out of their own house for it?!  Way too much too soon.


The “Walking Ahead” Guy

My boyfriend and I decided to take a mini-trip to a nearby city one day. At the time, we lived in a really quaint town, so it was cool to hang out in a metropolis.  We didn’t really have anything on the agenda, just planned to wander around and stop at places that seemed cool.  The ENTIRE time, he walked a few paces ahead of me–not just on the skinny sidewalks and I’m not saying we need to constantly hold hands, but at least seem like you are happy I’m with you.

The “Close-Minded” Guy

I am really into yoga,and I generally think it’s good for people to be open minded and try new things.  I asked my boyfriend to come with me to a class once and he was really weirdly resistant to it Chill out, it’s just yoga, I’m not asking you to bungee jump. He was really into sports and I mentioned that it would probably help his game and his response was “I don’t need yoga, I’m already really good.”  Well ok then, good to know you are incredibly close minded, won’t try new things and you are insanely full of yourself.