Monthly Archives: November 2015

The “Excessive Calling” Guy

My friend went on 3 dates with this guy and thought things were going well.  After hanging out with some coworkers, she accidentally left her phone in her coworkers car. No big deal, she would just get it the next day at work.  When she was finally reunited with her phone she had TEN missed calls. This guy was freaking out. No texts messages, no voicemails. He just called over and over and over again.

The “Long Distance” Guy

I was preparing to go into a long distance relationship with my boyfriend.  As someone who has left home, and worked hard to keep in touch with my family and friends, I completely understood what we were taking on. I was very sure that I wanted to attempt the long distance, but I continuously told my boyfriend that it would be difficult, and it would take a lot of work.

He would genuinely get offended when I said things like this and say “but if we love each other it will be easy.” And “stop saying it will be hard, we’re meant to be so it will be fine.”

Fast-forward a few months and *surprise* long distance was very difficult and our relationship did not survive.  While we were breaking up I said “I told you this was going to be hard! I told you it was going to take a lot of effort!” And he said “I know you said that, but I didn’t’ realize it was going to be THIS hard.”

Geez, maybe if you had listened to me from the beginning, the fact that a long distance relationship is difficult would have sunk in a little and you would not have been so shocked about the work that is needed to keep one going.

In the end it worked out for the best, I would prefer not to be with someone who sticks with me when things are easy and happy but bails the second things get hard.

The “Outfit” Guy

I was on a first date with this guy–we were going to a restaurant for dinner.  We were chatting in the car, he parked and we got out and started walking.  As we were walking, he stopped–looked and me and said “wait!” So I stopped too.  “Now that you are out of the car, let me see your outfit.”

Um..this was a long time ago and I STILL don’t know what I think about this interaction.  It was one of the strangest least straight thing anyone has said to me on a first date.

The “Drinking Problem” Guy

It’s kind of a long story, but my friend broke up with her ex-boyfriend for many reasons, but one of which was that he had a serious drinking problem.  Fast-forward a few years and she’s back on the dating scene.  At this point everyone is pretty open about exes (we all have a past) so bringing it up isn’t a big deal. She was on a first date with this guy and things were going when when they got into the “exes” topic.

She was honest and said one of the reasons they broke up was because her ex boyfriend had a drinking problem.  When she relayed this story to me–we are pretty convinced that THIS dude has a drinking problem.  He reacted pretty strangely:

What do you MEAN drinking problem?  LIke he drinks every night? What’s wrong with that? Like he drinks till he blacked out? If it’s only occasional that’s not a big deal, right? How many drinks is too many drinks? How do you know it was a problem–maybe he just liked the taste?

She never saw that guy again, no point in repeating the past.

 

The “Journalist” Guy

I was dating this guy who was a journalist for the local newspaper.  I mentioned my favorite hike–up a mountain that’s in our city and it’s pretty popular.  He said “Yeah, I wrote a piece on that hike once.”  And I said “oh really? did you enjoy the hike” and then he said “I’ve never done it.”

What? He is a journalist; he wrote a piece about this hike and he had never done it?  I was so confused–he said he just googled reviews and wrote vague stuff about how the hike is “not that difficult” and would be “a fun thing to do with your dog.”  It’s NOT a difficult hike, that is true–so why not just do it since you committed and were assigned to write a piece about it?

I am not a journalist and I’m not saying he’s the next Stephen Glass or anything, but I thought that was deceiving and unprofessional.  Have some pride in your work and some commitment to the career you chose.

The “Ex Girlfriend Complex” Guy

I was at my boyfriend’s house when it was time to leave.  As I was driving away, I realized I forgot my phone. I immediately turned around–and luckily his front door was unlocked.  Maybe I should have knocked, but this was my boyfriend and I was gone for five minutes at the most.  I went straight to his room–where I left my cell phone and he was sitting at his desk, with his back facing me, obviously facebook-instant-chatting (whatever it’s called) with his ex girlfriend!

I was gone for 5 minutes and he immediately gets online to talk to his ex girlfriend? I have no idea what they were talking about, but after I saw it I said “hey.” He whipped around and closed the chat box so it didn’t seem so innocent.  I explained that I forgot my phone–grabbed it and went home.

The “Super Needy” Guy

I hadn’t seen my friend in a long time since we live in different states–but she was visiting my city for a work conference and we had the opportunity to grab lunch together.  Her new boyfriend who I had never met would be flying in to meet her that night.

We’re having lunch and trying to catch up and her phone rings–she answers, has a short conversation with him and hangs up.  10 minutes later it rings again, same thing. 10 minutes later it rings again, same thing.  I start getting annoyed.  Doesn’t he know you’re at lunch? Doesn’t he know we haven’t seen each other in a long time and we are trying to catch up?  What possible explanation does he have for calling every 10 minutes.

She explained that because he is getting ready go board–he called when he was at home to say he was leaving, he called when he got to the airport, he called after he got through security.

Is he deathly afraid of flying? Had he never gotten on a plane before? Has he ever heard of text messaging? No, no. He was just needy and insecure and felt the need to constantly keep her updated on his life.

 

The “Social” Guy

I was dating this guy who was social and liked talking to people and going out.  I also have a very close friend, Tanya, who is very sweet and actually diagnosed with social anxiety.  She’s not terribly shy, she just gets nervous and uncomfortable with a bunch of people she doesn’t know.  Tanya is working through her anxiety and I think she’s doing a great job. Everyone I know is very respectful–I have one-on-one lunches with her and I never force her into situations that would spark the anxiety.

Anyway when the guy I was dating and I were going to a party, he suggested I invite Tanya. When I told him that she probably wouldn’t want to go, since she has social anxiety (I said this pretty casually since it really isn’t that big of a deal).  He kind of flipped out “what?! That is SO weird? Why? Who’s like that? What is the big deal–it’s just a group of people!’  

I understand that for someone who is outgoing and a partier–social anxiety can be a difficult concept to grasp, but at least have some compassion, be respectful and don’t be so quick to judge others, especially my friends.

The “143″ Guy

I was in a relationship with this guy, but I could feel us drifting and there wasn’t as much chemistry.  He stopped being affectionate with me and he stopped telling me he loves me.  It was noticeable, so I took note of when he said “I love you.”  It had been a while and I continued to notice that he wasn’t saying it, or saying boyfriend-ish things to me. After a while he finally said ‘I love you” again and I called him out–saying that he hadn’t said that to me in a long time and his response was (verbatim) “If I say it too much it loses it’s meaning”

Um…since when does saying something too much lose it’s meaning, especially when you are referring to caring about someone. That was his justification for being less affectionate with me?! Anyway long story short he was a complete weirdo and I am kind of annoyed with myself for dating him for so long.

 

The “F***-able Video” Guy

My friend just started online dating. She was communicating with a seemingly nice gentleman. They exchanged phone numbers and he told her he would call her on Saturday. Unfortunately her phone completely broke and she wasn’t able to receive or make any calls or texts.  It wasn’t until Monday that she was able to fix it.

In addition to her phone being broken, she had a pretty busy weekend so wasn’t able to log onto the site until Monday.  She checked her messages on Monday and expected something from this guy like “I tried calling but I couldn’t get in touch with you” or “we must have missed each other” or something along those lines.  Nope, all he sent was an uncensored video of some skit with the F-WORD in it and said “this is the funniest thing ever.”

She told me to watch it and other than NOT being the “funniest thing ever” or even that funny –her phone was broken all weekend, she could not call or text, he specifically said he would call and the ONLY message from him was a distasteful, vulgar video. Why would you send that to someone you haven’t met yet or even spoke on the phone with? She blocked him right away.