Monthly Archives: October 2015

The “Who is That?” Guy

I spent a lot of time with my boyfriend, and unsurprisingly my phone would occasionally *bing* with a text message. Every Single Time my phone made a noise, my boyfriend would say “who is that?”  I didn’t really think too much about it in the beginning; it wasn’t that weird.  Maybe he was asking out of curiosity or because we were supposed to meet up with people later.  So the first few times it didn’t bother me but it consistently continued to happen with every noise my phone made! It started to get really irritating and then seemed weird and possessive.  I never asked him who was texting him, nor did I really care. If your phone can’t make noise without it bringing out jealous in your insecure boyfriend that is a huge red flag.

The “Good Old Days” Guy

My friend went out with this guy who talked about himself the entire time.  He did not ask one question about her, and didn’t seem like he wanted to know anything about her.  My friend also told me that this guy complained the entire time about how horrible things are now–not sure about the specifics but technology and they way kids are dressing now (?)  And how things are not like the way they used to be in the “good old days.”  What is up with this guy? He should not even be dating!

The “Unresponsive” Guy

I went out with this guy and I would be cute of flirtatious and say something funny and he would just stare blankly at me.  It was so difficult to keep the conversation going–I would say something witty and look to him for a chuckle or a reaction and he would look back at me as if I hadn’t said anything.  Do you know how hard it is to have a conversation with someone who has no facial expressions and doesn’t react to anything you say?!  We didn’t date for too long because I realized quickly that he is insanely boring.


The “Going on Dates” Boyfriend

So basically I was in a long distance relationship, which is always difficult–but since I was so busy and I talked to my boyfriend often, I thought things were going well.  My boyfriend told me that his cousin invited him to go hiking–cool.  After the hike, he said it was fun and the next night he was going out with a friend.  I didn’t think too much of it.  After he went out with this “friend”–let’s call her Sally–the conversation went like this:

Me: Who did you hang out with last night?                                                                                Boyfriend: Sally, I met her at the hike, she’s friends with my cousin.                                          Me: Wait you just met her on the hike?                                                                                          Boyfriend: Yeah.                                                                                                                                                  Me: So…did anyone else go out with you last night?                                                              Boyfriend: No, just me and her.                                                                                                                    Me: Did you pick her up?                                                                                                                   Boyfriend: Yeah.                                                                                                                                                 Me: Did you buy her a drink?                                                                                                          Boyfriend: Yeah.                                                                                                                                                  Me: Wait wait met this girl, got her number, asked her out, picked her up, bought her a drink and drove her home?!                                                                                                  Boyfriend: Yeah.                                                                                                                                                  Me: Um…this sounds like a date.                                                                                                   Boyfriend: no. no it wasn’t a date–we’re friends.                                                                                  Me: No, you’re not friends–you met this girl two days ago.

Anyway, so it went on like that–I guess you can imagine, but this is a HUGE red flag–if your boyfriend takes another girl out on a DATE–dump him.

The “Pushy Texting” Guy

When I first started online dating, the whole thing was new and scary and I felt uncomfortable just throwing my number out to everyone.  I would be messaging a nice guy and he would ask for my number.  If I responded with “Let’s just message for a little bit so I can get to know you better before we exchange numbers” and guys would respond with “come on, what’s the big deal?!” or “but i can know you better by texting.”  Guys who totally respected how I felt and went with it OR gave me their number and continued to message me saying I could text when I felt comfortable got brownie points.  The pushy guys were just disrespectful and I wouldn’t want to meet anyone like that in person anyway.


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The “VideoChat” Guy

This is an “online dating” story that actually happens to my friend.  But she would get a nice message from a guy, respond normally and then the next message from him will be something about “hey wanna skype?” or “videochat” or “facetime.”  Slightly creepy, but she is willing to give people the benefit of the doubt and when she asks why–they say so they can “see what she looks like” What? There are pictures of her on her profile.  It just kept getting creepier and obviously implicit on cybersex–who would do that online dating? Don’t these men know you can pay for that?

The “Hiking” Guy

Hiking on a first date? Always say NO–you have been warned.  I am not the most athletic person and he wanted to go to these waterfalls that was about an hour drive away from the town we were in. (reminder that this is a first date).

These are verbatim reviews from the hike online:                                                                             “This was the hardest hike I’ve ever done. I literally felt like i I was going to die on certain parts.”                                                                                                                                                                               “Try to avoid poison oak…also the trails are unmarked, and there are no switchbacks. You literally have to crawl up or even rock climb some parts.”                                                                         “It seriously was like playing hot lava trying to avoid the poison oak.”                                    THERE IS NO MARKED TRAIL. We spent 95% of the time praying we were in the right area.      “Everyone here seems to think that the potential of falling to your death if you take a wrong step or fall is laughable. It is extremely challenging and dangerous.”

Um….so I asked him if he’d ever done this hike before and he said No, but that he had heard that it is awesome.  Long story short, I ended up agreeing to go and it was one of the worst experiences of my life.  He picked me up super early, we drove there, did the hike–I forced myself to have a good attitude and complete it–and he was actually super impressed with me.  He didn’t realize it was going to be so difficult (even though a quick google search would have made it obvious). He said he knows some grown men who would have turned around, but I totally powered through.  It took us HOURS, it was insanely hot, and I swear there was a point where I honestly thought I would need to be airlifted out of there.  Because the trails are totally unmarked, we hiked a mile in the wrong direction before we realized we were totally lost and would probably need a search party to come get us.  So we (smartly) hiked back the entire mile to find the trail again.
It took us about 7 hours and he dropped me back off at my house when it was dark.  Then I never heard from him again and basically couldn’t walk for a week.

The “Booty Shorts” Guy

My boyfriend and I were hanging out at a BBQ with a bunch of people.  One of my guy friends brought the new girl he had just started dating.  It was the first time any of us had met her.  She was nice and pretty and had a great body.  It was a hot summer day and she came wearing booty shorts.  When we left I mentioned that I liked my friends new girl and he said “yeah, and her butt looks really good in those shorts.”  Um…yeah…

The “GPS” Guy

I was dating this guy and we were in an unfamiliar part of the city.  We were leaving the restaurant, in his car, he got out his gps.  He plugged it in and set it to “home.”  I said “oh, do you need help getting home?” Since I kind of knew what direction it was in and thought I could help. He curtly said “NO’ and continued driving–with the gps on, directing us.  Clearly this was a blow to his ego so I didn’t say anything and we awkwardly drove around in silence with the gps directing us.  When we finally got to the freeway and headed in the right direction he turned the gps off and said “I know how to get home, I just needed the gps to help me get to the freeway.” Ok…that’s pretty much the same thing as not knowing how to get home, but whatever.

The “Message Again” Guy

I met this guy on a dating site, and he was one of the horrible date entries.  Let’s call him Jason.  Jason had a decent profile when I agreed to go out with him, he was well-educated, worldly and had a very well written profile.  But the date sucked.

Anyway after no success, I decided to try a different dating website.   For the new website profile, used an entirely different username, but pretty much the same pictures and all the same information (I am after all, the same person).  After a few weeks, I get a message from Jason! “Hey I really like your profile and I moved here a couple years ago as well.  How was your trip to Japan? I’ve always wanted to go there.  Hope you are having a nice day, I was just wondering if you would be interested in getting a drink sometime–Jason.”

WHAT?! This dude who I actually went on a date with completely did not recognize me or remember me.  I was so offended and if I had more free time, I would probably just have messed with him and even gone through with a date just to see how long it took him to figure out.  But instead I said “hey Jason, you have a great profile and this was a great message–which is why I went out with you a few weeks ago.  We got a drink, remember?  I’m actually really offended that you completely did not remember me–I hope this does not mean that you have dated EVERYONE online and are just making your rounds again. Either way, good luck.”