Monthly Archives: September 2015

The “Dinner Buddy” Guy

Red Flags In Relationships,

I got really busy at work so I was having less time to hang out with my boyfriend.  He went to dinner one-on-one with this woman I had never met a few times.  I knew that they were kind of friends, but I’m not sure how well they knew each other.  I didn’t say anything, ever.

I am not a jealous person, I hate it when my friends are weirdly jealous of their significant others and I strive not to be like that.  He continued to go out with this woman and I continued to not say anything, even though I thought it was weird, and in hindsight kind of inappropriate.  One night, we were texting and I said something along the lines of “oh, you guys are going out again tonight?” And he responded with “don’t be jealous, she’s my dinner buddy.”  WHOA RED FLAG.  I definitely should have seen it right then, but of course I didn’t and it blew up in my face.

The “Mishearing” Guy

Guy I've Actually Dated,

I went to watch a dance performance with this guy for our second or third date.  I had met the choreographer/instructor or the performance before. This woman and her husband did a cute number together.  During the performance, I turned to my date and said “they’re married”–referring to the performers.  He said “what? You’re married?!”  Yep–that’s exactly what I said. Even if he totally misheard me, THINK a little bit before you speak.

The “No-Texts” Guy

Red Flags In Relationships,

I was in a long distance relationship and due to the time difference–it was really hard for us to constantly stay in touch. He would call or text me while I was sleeping and my phone would *ding* in the middle of the night and sometimes wake me up.  I didn’t really mind, but one night I told him that I really wanted a good night sleep so I was keeping my phone on silent.  I told him that he was free to text or call as much as he wanted after I went to bed and it would not disturb me.  Finally he could communicate and not be worried about it disrupting my sleep!

I woke up in the morning expecting a couple of cute text messages and maybe even a voicemail and I had NOTHING. No texts, no calls. Aside from that itself being unusual, I specifically told him my phone was going to be off so that he COULD communicate with me–since he did almost every night.  The one night that I told him it was totally acceptable and I wanted to hear from him, is the one night he decided not to text at all.

The “Lied About Age” Guy

Online Dating,

This guy had on his profile that he was 38.  On the date, my friend found out that he was actually 40.  Why would you lie about your age?  That is weird.  He said because he wants to attract women that are in their 30s, and if he puts that he’s 40, he gets a bunch of women in their 40s.

She told him that there are settings and you can manage your preferences, saying you want to see the profiles and talk to women in their 30s. And his reply was “no, the way you get women in their 30s is by putting you are in your 30s.”

So…he basically totally lied in his profile, but was upfront about it.

The “Password” Guy

Guy I've Actually Dated,

When I started dating this guy, my beloved cat, Billy had recently passed away.  I had talked about the cat and referred to him as “Billy” since, you know–that was his name.  Anyway, this guy slept over one night and woke up earlier than me.  Not wanting to wake me, he thought he would browse the internet on my laptop.  He turned my computer on, and needed to insert a password.  At the time, my password was “Billy3.”  He clicked on the “password hint” button and the computer said “kitty3.”  I obviously made that my hint so that if I ever forgot my password, I would know it’s my cat’s name and then the number three.

When I woke up and saw him trying to log on he just said “I was trying to log onto your computer, but I couldn’t remember your cat’s name.”  Aside from being groggy in the morning I was very confused.  He was trying to log on to my laptop without asking my permission? We weren’t really there yet.

I didn’t know that if I should be more offended that he was invading my privacy, logging onto my computer while I was sleeping without asking permission OR that he was obviously a horrible listener and could not remember my cats name, which I know I brought up several times.

The “Work Outfit” Guy

Guy My Friend Has Dated,

My friend is a working professional and the field is dominated by men. She is proud of her accomplishments as a career woman.  She met this guy after work one day–she was wearing an appropriate office outfit–albeit feminine. The typical blue, sleeved work dress–down to her knees and covered black high heels.  When she met her date (it was the second or third date) he said “you look nice.” And she replied with “thanks, I just came from work.”  He said “WOW–the guys at work must think you are SO HOT.”

Um…I get that he was trying to give her a compliment, but she was offended.  Of course she tries to look put together for work, but she is definitely more valued for her work ethic and contributions than for her physical appearance.  And because she works with mostly men, (some of whom are significantly older) this was especially offensive. She does not even consider how any of the men think of her physically nor does she want to.

The “That was too Intense” Guy

Red Flags In Relationships,

*This was a serious boyfriend*  I was on a trip and the entire time, he would text me “goodnight” before he went to bed–every night.  A week into the trip, he did not.  I texted him and he didn’t respond, and called him to leave a voicemail.  It got later and later and I was genuinely getting concerned. It was very uncharacteristic of him–I had a boyfriend that texted me “goodnight” every night while I was on my trip, failed to and then wasn’t answering his texts or picking up his phone.  Was everything ok?  Did something happen to him? Did he lose his phone?  Or did he just fall asleep and forget?  I sent him an email that I was a little worried that he wasn’t responding, and I hope he didn’t lose his phone or something–just to call me when he gets the email.

He called me the next morning, apologizing that he had fallen asleep really early and didn’t text me.  He also said “that was a little intense” in regards to my reaction. I was genuinely offended! This was not some guy that I had gone on a couple dates with.  This was a serious, long-term boyfriend who texted me every night so EXCUSE ME for being concerned about you.

 

The “Three Months Later” Guy

Online Dating,

My friend, Kelly went on a date with this guy she met online.  She thought it went well, but then she never heard from him again.  THREE MONTHS LATER he texted her and said “Hey Kelly, what’s up? Do you want to hang out sometime?”

She was confused.  Kelly is a pretty common name–they had one date months ago and now out of the blue he’s texting her again? She said “are you texting the right person?”  He said “I think so.”  She told him that they had gone on one date three months ago, and she never heard from him again. He was like “Yes! I think this is the right Kelly, but send me a picture of you just in case.”  What?! NO THANKS.

The “Twinkie” Guy

Guy I've Actually Dated,

I went to the county fair with this guy I was dating–it was really fun. I bought some fried twinkies which were SO delicious. I told him he should have a bite–he said he didn’t want to take the food away from me.  I was offering it to him for a reason! Because it was yummy, and he can have a bite.

He said he had just rinsed his mouth out. “…with what?”  He said he had just rinsed his mouth out with water.  I was confused on why this stopped him from taking a bite of my twinky “if you just rinsed your mouth out with water, can’t you rinse it out again with water after you eat the twinkie?”  He shrugged and took a bite.  That was a weird exchange.

Later on in the night he said he thought I was a “pushy person.”  I was so confused and asked him why–he said like with the twinkie–I “forced” him to take a bite when he really doesn’t like sweets. I was even more confused! Not once in that exchange did he said he did not want to take a bite, or that he doesn’t like sweets. His reasonings were that he didn’t want to take food from me, and then that he had just rinsed his mouth out–both of which are dumb reasons to not take a bite if he wanted.  Obviously if he had said “no thanks” or “i’m not into sweets” I never would have “forced” him into taking a bite–I just thought I was being a problem solver!  It was so weird to me that he was making up dumb excuses to not eat it, felt like I forced him into it, and then called me a pushy person. If you don’t want to fricken eat the twinkie than just say so!

The “Sex Addict” Guy

Guy My Friend Has Dated,

My friend went out with this guy and they had some deep conversations about how he wasn’t in a good place in his life, so he decided to seek counseling.  My friend isn’t against this and thought it was a great idea that he realized he needed to change and put the effort into it.  Then he started talking about how the counselor kept wanting to talk about sex, and how she was totally coming onto him.  Then finally one day the counselor asked if he wants to have sex with her and he said “of course, I said yes, she was very attractive, but she’s married and she’s my counselor.”  Shortly after that, the counselor called him to say that she could no longer work with him.

Weird story right?  After dating him a few times, my friend decided that he most likely–is actually a sex addict–and was possibly seeking counseling for it, OR the counselor picked up pretty quickly that sex could be the problem and THAT’s why she was always bringing it up.

I don’t know what actually happened–I don’t know if he was a sex addict who sought counseling, OR if his counselor really was coming onto him.  Either way, this is the type of guy women do not want.