Monthly Archives: August 2015

The “Unattractive Photos” Guy

People who online date always complain about the person not looking the same in photos and in person.  She’s fatter, or he’s bald–whatever.  I would never want someone to be unpleasantly surprised when they meet me.  I purposefully picked pictures where I didn’t look my best.  The pictures were casual/no make up pictures. Then for the actual date–I would get dolled up with nice make up and a cute outfit.  I wanted to be recognizable by my goal was to look more attractive in person than I do in my pictures so guys were happy when they see me for the first time.  I just hear way too many stories of it happening the other way around and did not want to be one of those girls.

Anyway I had gone out with this guy a couple times and told him that I purposefully put up pictures that I look unattractive in.  His response was “you look the same.” ….

I JUST told you that I post pictures of myself that are unattractive on my dating profile and you are telling me I look the same in person?  I really don’t know if that was a compliment or an insult. I look just as bad as I do in my pictures?  Even when I try to post bad pictures I look nice? I’ll never know.

The “Tag Along” Guy

I was dating this guy who is originally from the other side of the state–it was a 7 hour drive.  My friend and I decided to take a trip there to see a traveling broadway play and hang out in a new city for a few days.  When I told the guy I was dating–he was like “oh! I’ll come with you! I haven’t seen my parents in a while anyway, so I was thinking I should visit them soon.”  It was a little weird, but he WAS from there, and his whole family still lived there.

When my friend found out that this guy she had never met was planning on taking a 7 hour road trip with us–she decided she would fly and meet us there–why be a 3rd wheel on a 7 hour road trip?  That was fine.  I crashed at his parents place for the night but they left before we woke up so I didn’t interact with them.

When we woke up, he started talking about how he should see if he could get tickets to the play.  Wait a minute….I thought he wanted to come on the 7 hour road trip so he could visit his family and now he’s talking about wanting to get last minute tickets to a broadway show?  I told him that we got our tickets months ago, and he said “yeah and even if I did get tickets, I wouldn’t be sitting by you anyway, so what’s the point?”  Wait…so he also only wanted to get tickets to sit by me? Not to actually see the play?  This was getting strange.  We weren’t official, we hadn’t had “the talk.” I really thought he was tagging along because it was convenient that I was going, I didn’t think he was thinking of it as like a getaway for us. I left and didn’t see him the rest of the weekend, since I was spending it with my friend. The drive home was pretty awkward like he was upset that we didn’t spend time together.

The “I’ll Sit in a Corner” Guy

I’ve written plenty about clingy guys–but they just make it too easy! My friends and I were having a girls night since one of our friends who moved away was back in town.  It was just hanging out at one of the girls places–catching up and gossiping.  My friend, Christina had been with her boyfriend for a while, and he was a nice guy.  Our girls night was SO fun but Christina’s boyfriend kept calling and texting her. She was always nice enough to pick up the phone or text him back.  Her boyfriend knew exactly where she was, and what she was doing but kept saying he missed her SO much.  This is the part of the conversation I overheard:

Boyfriend: Can I come hang out with you?                                                                                  Christina: No, it’s a girls night.                                                                                                        Boyfriend: Why not? I just want to be with you.                                                                       Christina: No–we are catching up–I want to hang out with my friends                       Boyfriend: PLEASE–I’ll just sit in a corner with my back towards you guys and I won’t say a word (he seriously said this).                                                                                                              Christina: That’s weird–why would you even want to come if that’s all you’re going to do.  Boyfriend: I just want to be with you.

This honestly sounded a little insane for me–and for the record he did NOT crash our girls night.


The “I’m Hungry” Guy

I slept at my boyfriends house and the next morning we were going to some festival that he was really excited about. I got to his place pretty late so we fell asleep right away.  In the morning, we woke up and got ready–he wanted to get to the festival early so he said we would find something to eat there.  That was fine.

The festival was kind of insane–it took us forever to find parking, we had to walk a while to the event and when we got there, everything and every booth was ridiculously crowded with a line for everything.  I was getting SO hungry.  My boyfriend knew a lot of people there so definitely wanted to walk around–I also didn’t know anyone or anything about what was going on.  We kept walking around and I didn’t want to be rude–so I would politely say “I’m getting kind of hungry” (at least 3 times) and each time he would say “yeah, me too.”

I was so confused that I kept telling him I wanted something to eat, he kept agreeing with me, and yet did nothing to rectify the problem. I spent the night at HIS house, it was the festival HE wanted to go to that he ASKED me to come to–my mentality was that I was his guest (and his girlfriend!).  In hindsight I should have just ditched him and gotten food–but this was a LONG time ago and I’m kind of glad I didn’t–this amongst several other red flags needed to happen in order for me to come to my senses and dump him.

The “Sorry that Didn’t Work Out” Guy

I was messaging back and forth with this guy, and we finally exchanged numbers.  We decided to meet up on Monday.  This is the timeline of events:

Monday (day of date):                                                                                                                                     Him: I’m SO sorry something came up can we reschedule for Thursday.                                 Me: Sure no problem.

Wednesday (day before date):                                                                                                                       Me: I’m SO sorry–I came down with a terrible cold and I really don’t think I’ll be able to meet tomorrow.  Can we aim for this weekend–I will rest up and hopefully be better by then.                                                                                                                                                                        Him: Aw I’m out of town all weekend!  Oh well, too bad that didn’t work out.                       Me: Sorry…what?                                                                                                                                            Him:  I’m just not looking for anything serious and didn’t want to put too much effort in.  Me: Oh, I didn’t realize rescheduling twice constituted as “too much effort.” And if you’re just looking for sex–stick to tinder.                                                                                                           Him: haha

I was being totally serious! Don’t go on legitimate dating sites if you just want to have sex.

The “Fat Shaming” Guy

A LONG time ago I dated this guy and we were all still in school. There was this girl that hung out with us that we were sort of frenimes with.  We’ve all be there–she was ok, but a little annoying but not horrible so everyone put up with her.  Anyway we were all sitting around and this girl came over to us and the guy I’m dating whispers “that skirt makes her look fat.”  EXCUSE ME?! You think fat shaming another girl (even though I’m not her biggest fan) is even remotely attractive?  Even if I disliked her this would be unacceptable.

The “Sexting” Guy

My friend went on one date with this guy and she had a good time.  After they had dinner, he hung out at her place for a bit and they kissed a little (nothing more than that).

After the first date they were doing the casual texting like “I had a nice time, we should do dinner again soon.”  etc.  And then the conversations took a quick turn when he started saying things like “yeah I can totally picture having my way with you on your stairwell.”  Wait….what?  How did this go from a decent guy having dinner and kissing to weird sexting post first date.

She kept trying to play it off with “haha.”  And did not reciprocate the sexting–and quickly realized he was not kidding and then it was just awkward.

ESPECIALLY after the FIRST no-sex date—if you would not say these things to a woman to her face–DON’T text them.  Nowadays men feel like they have a screen to hide behind and say ridiculous inappropriate things that they would never actually verbalize.

The “Change of Plans” Guy

We were meeting some of my boyfriends friends for dinner. He texted me saying to be at his house at 7pm since we were meeting them at 7:30.  I was at my place–doing my hair and makeup and before I left the house, I checked my phone.  There was a text message from him sent minutes earlier that there is a change of plan–we are meeting at his house at 6:30 so we can get dinner at 7.  Whoa it was already past 6:30–I was not aware of the change of plans so I get to his house at 7–like originally planned.

He was so mad and grumpy and had major road rage because we were rushing. He said he HATES being late and he HATES keeping his friends waiting.  Um….you can’t change the meeting time on me minutes before and then get upset with me!

For the record–his friends were very nice and understand and just hung out at the restaurant bar until we got there.  He was still mad at me.

The “Dramatic Break-Up” Guy

I met this guy online and we went on about three nice dates.  No major sparks flying, but I was having fun.  I texted him to see if he wanted to hang out that weekend and instead of answering he texted “can you come by my place after work today? Or I can go to your place…I want to talk to you in person.”  What–why?  “I don’t think we should keep hanging out and I want to talk to you about it in person.”

Dude–we’ve been on THREE dates and we met online. If you’re not feeling it, I can’t blame you.  No need for a huge dramatic in-person “break-up.”  I told him that if he wanted to end things with me, he can just tell me via text–I’m not going to drive to his place to get dumped. He texted that he didn’t think we are a good fit.  I said fine, it was nice meeting you–end of conversation.  That really wasn’t so hard and would have been way more awkward in person.

The “Killing Surprises” Guy

My favorite flower is the tulip and I had a favorite bakery.  I dated this guy who would pick me up and say thing like “I WAS going to get you tulips, but I ran out of time.” Great…thanks.  “I WAS going to get those cookies you like, but I forgot.” Great…thanks.

Don’t even tell me what you were going to do if you did not do it.  You didn’t bring me flowers, you didn’t bring me cookies.  Why mention it?  Maybe he was thinking that “it’s the thought that counts.”  But at that point, just save the idea and do it the next time you pick me up.  Now if it ever happens it won’t be as much of a surprise, since I knew you were planning on it previously.