Monthly Archives: April 2015

The “Racist” Guy

My friend had gone on a couple dates with this guy–she was a bit unsure about him but thought she would give him a chance.  She was commenting about how she loves that the city we live in because it is so diverse.  He said he completely disagrees with her and thinks that quote “people should stick to their own kind.”

When asked what he meant by that he said he believes in keeping races separated and he hates how diverse and mingled the city is.  He doesn’t understand why all these people are here.  He went on a rant about how he was at the grocery store and (heaven forbid) there was a Mexican family in front of him, who were speaking Spanish.  He didn’t understand why all these people come here and don’t learn how to speak English and how it sucks for their kids.

My friend who shockingly kept her cool, just said that she thinks it’s a good thing, since those children will be bilingual and have a huge advantage in life, since that is such a coveted skill.

She never saw him after that, and was glad that he revealed himself as a racist early on.

The “Wedding-Phobic” Guy

I had been dating this one guy for about a month.  It was fun and comfortable and we just liked hanging out.  One night I was over at his place watching “Wedding Crashers.”  I’d never seen it before–it was just a cute romantic comedy–emphasis on the comedy.  We got to a scene when they were at a wedding. There was a lull in the movie so he asked if I wanted to pause it and get a snack.

We were at the bar stools eating some chips or something, and I mentioned that I had just gotten back from a fun destination wedding a few months prior.  He was really quiet, his eyes got really big and freaked out.  He said, completely shocked “why are we talking about weddings?”  I thought about it for a minute on why I brought it up–and then I realized and honestly responded with “um…because we’re watching ‘Wedding Crashers.’”  I rarely have to think back about my train of thought, but I successfully did in this case—and that was the honest reason.

He looked completely relieved and said “oh, ok.  because you know I don’t want to get married soon.”

Whoa whoa whoa.  I was in NO way shape or form talking about OUR wedding or even MY wedding–literally just mentioned that I had gone to a wedding AND it was topical since we were watching a movie about weddings!

I know I have already made a post about the guy who creepily wants to get married–and then I dated this guy who I apparently can’t even say the word “wedding” around.  The grass is always greener….

 

The “Facebook” Guy

My friend was on a date with this guy and they were having a good conversation.  She had just gotten back from an overseas trip and they were talking about it.  The guy wanted to see some pictures and she realized the only pictures she had were on her facebook. So she pulled up the app on her phone and they were going through pictures.

She handed the phone to him so he could see and scroll through at his leisure.  He then “searched” for himself and added himself as a friend while he had her phone that was logged into her facebook account.

I definitely think this is a little overboard.  He didn’t ask–he didn’t find out what her last name was and friend her post-date. He just saw an opportunity to be facebook friends with her and took it.

 

The “Clueless” Guy

I had been dating this guy for a while and we were in a similar industry.  We decided to go to a networking event.  I was young and still intimidated by events like this.  Mingling with strangers made me nervous and at this point I still had not developed the small talk skills.  I made it clear that I am excited but also very intimidated, and he assured me that it would be fun.

I parked and texted him asking if he could meet me at the front.  The thought of me going into a room full of people I didn’t know kind of terrified me. He texted back and said “I’m inside, come find me.”

I was annoyed but thought maybe the event was small, or he would be close to the entrance.  I walked in and there are hundreds of people—all in business attire.  I glance around the room and see no sign of him.  What did he expect me to do—aimlessly walk around till I find him?  He made no effort to make it easy for me, and gave me no indication of where he was “I’m off to the right when you walk in” or “near the bar” NOTHING.

Instead of wandering around like a lost puppy, I got myself some wine and started talking to the people next to me.  It was not as scary as I thought it would be.  When I had a moment to look at my phone he texted and said “you still haven’t found me yet.”  Sorry—is this some kind of game?

Because they were SO many people and I refused to be sucked into a childish game, I just continued enjoying my night.  Towards the end, hours later, we did run into each other and he apparently thought it was funny and said something like “you did find me!”  Which I was very cold towards.
This was definitely a red flag—the girl you are dating VERBALIZED that she is uncomfortable at events like this, she specifically REQUESTED that you come meet her. It takes the entire night for you to realize she has not come to find you and has been on her own for hours (the one thing she was nervous about) and you think it’s funny?   No thanks, call me old fashion but I definitely would prefer a man who actually cares about my feelings.

The “Message” Guy

For some online websites, you can see how often the person logs on and when they check their messages.  A little invasive, but that’s just the way things are now.  For this particular dating site, I had the app on my phone but also could also log on from my computer.  I used my phone to check messages and look at profiles but did not write any messages until I was logged onto my computer.

I got a message from a guy, who seemed nice and someone I would want to talk to.  On my phone I read the message and browsed his profile.  I decided I would respond when I had time to log on from my computer.  MINUTES after making this decision, I get another message from him that was very upset and defensive “Wow, you read my message and chose not to respond. That’s just rude, what makes you already think you’re too good to talk to me?”

Um—this guy is crazy.  I am actually so glad that he was upfront about his true colors when I could have been corresponding with a total psycho.  So luckily that one was caught early before conversation ensued.

The “Are You Dating” Guy

This is a short one but still strange.  I’m not sure how ALL online dating sites work–but in my experience you can usually tell when the person is on, how often they are on, etc.  I honestly do not understand messages that say “Hey are you dating someone right now?”  Literally that is it–not “hey, how long have you been on here–have you met someone yet?” Or “Hi my name is —-and I was just curious if you are still available.”  Just “hey are you dating someone right now?”  Again–I am not sure how other sites work, or other people for that matter. But I personally would not be online dating if I were dating someone.  Maybe that’s just me.

The “Other End of the Bar” Guy

This was another set-up–I was meeting this guy for a drink.  I arrived a little early, but the line to the bar is right next to the door. I was standing in line to get a beer and I saw him walk in. We recognized each other from pictures, did the awkward “hi, nice to meet you” side hug while I was standing in line.  The people in front of me got out of the way so I went up to the bar and ordered my beer.  I casually turned around to see if he was going to order with me, or offer to pay and he oddly is nowhere around.  So I give the bartender my card.  I look over and this guy is on the other side of the bar.

He had to literally have given me the awkward side hug and then B-Lined it to the other side of the bar.  I don’t know if he was thinking it was convenient since that bartender was open or like a message like “Hey, I AM NOT PAYING FOR YOUR DRINK.”  Either way it was very strange–who meets a date and then instantly leaves to buy himself a drink?!

The “Texter” Guy

Everyone is different but this particular friend is not a huge texter.  She really hates the useless “hey, what’s up” kind of text messages and prefers the messages that have substance.  I personally am really awkward on the phone, so I prefer texting.

She had gone out with this guy and thought he was funny, nice and good-looking.  Then the useless texts started.  She humored him for a while but was also annoyed that the useless texts never materialized into a second date.  She became less and less enthusiastic about texting until he finally called her out on it.  She texted him and said “to be honest, I’m not much of a texter and would prefer a phone call.”  *hint*  He texts her back and said something about “well, I didn’t know that, sorry.”  And then weirdly tried to continue the useless text conversation.  She became less and less responsive again, until he was worried about what was wrong and she texted him and said “if you really want to talk to me, you can call me tonight, I’ll be done with work around 5.”  *hint hint*

He does not call but instead attempts to continue the useless text conversation.  My friend, being so sick of this after telling him that she did have a good time, but she wants him to CALL just stops responding to his text messages all together.  DAYS go by of him texting without her response and he finally calls her and leaves a voicemail to the effect of “you haven’t been responding to my text messages, so I decided to try giving you a call.”  My friend thought this was comical, since apparently it takes two requests and days of ignoring him for him to do what she wanted in the first place–which is to call her.  IT’S NOT THAT HARD.