My friend set me up on a blind date. I didn’t know too much about this guy, except his age, his job and that we grew up in the same area. We texted for a bit, and eventually set up a time and place to meet.
I realized that neither of us knew what each other looked like and I didn’t want to be awkwardly staring at each guy that walks in the restaurant. I told him this and sent him a picture of me that I thought was cute. He sent me a really small, poor quality photo and said “this is a school picture from three years ago, and it’s really grainy but you get the gist.” *red flag* I’m not a superficial person and the date was already planned. What is he hiding?!
I didn’t hold back on this one and texted “really….you’re sending me a grainy picture from three years ago?” He said that he’s not a “picture-taker.” Um…I’m not a “picture-taker” either, but I have a more recent picture in my phone than a poorly pixilated student website photo that was taken 3 years ago….
We ended up going out, and the date was a flop (more on that later). But this was just weird! If you ARE going to send a photo that is years old, and grainy, at least don’t disclose that. He full on was like “this was from three years ago and is grainy.” Even typing that to a girl you are about to go on a blind date with should have felt weird to him.
My friend decided to move in with her boyfriend–it is always an adjustment when a couple decides to live together. My friend likes things clean, but she’s not a clean freak and she fully believes that the guy should also help out with keeping things clean–especially things like the dishes. She had complained to him a couple times about him not doing his part in doing the dishes and he apologized and said he would get better.
One day she came back from work and the sink was full of dishes. Her boyfriend was home, but she decided to pick her battles and decided to start doing the dishes. He instantly gets up goes to the sink and says “can I help?” First of all, doing the dishes is kind of a one person thing, and once one person starts, it’s pretty moot to ask if you can “help. So she replied with “don’t worry about it, it’s fine.”
The bad part is, instead of getting better, from that moment on he did not ever do the dishes–this went on for weeks of her coming home and seeing a sink full of dishes. She finally decided to confront him about it and his response was “but you said don’t worry about it.”
So let me get this straight–she does the dishes ONE time, and tells him “don’t worry about it.” Which is pretty clear to me, she means that particular instance. This guy decides to interpret the “don’t worry about it” to mean don’t EVER worry about it?!
I have a couple of framed pictures in my room from when I was a bridesmaid at a friends wedding. A few of the pictures are posed, and some are candid. I had a great time at the wedding and I loved the professional photos that were taken.
One of the photos was a groomsmen carrying me and we are both laughing. Another picture is of me dancing with the bride’s cousin who was in a military uniform. It’s important to note that this wedding took place two years before I even started dating this guy.
Anyway, when this guy I was dating came to my room for the first time, he was looking at the pictures and questioned the ones from this wedding. I told him that I was a bridesmaid, and I liked the pictures. He pointed to the one with me and the groomsmen and asked what was going on there. I said “I don’t really remember, we were just having a good time.” And then he asked if ALL the bridesmaids were lifted and carried by groomsmen, and I said I didn’t know, but probably not. It’s not like it was a posed picture. He made a comment about the guys hand being on my thigh–(which it was…because he was carrying me) and said something about how it looks like he’s trying to feel me up or something.
Then he asked who I was dancing with and I told him it was the bride’s cousin. He asked me why we were dancing and I told him because it was a wedding, and he asked me to dance.
Nothing really came of this conversation and it seemed casual enough–but hindsight is always 20/20 and that was definitely a red flag. If a guy is going to get jealous and question you about about you having pictures with men you’ve interacted with once from a wedding two years ago, RUN.
I am safe about online dating–I always tell someone who I am meeting, where I am going and any information I have about him.
This date was going ok–I was comfortable enough that I mentioned that I told my friend where we were meeting.
I kid you not–this guy then proceeded to go into excruciating detail about how he WOULD kidnap me, if he wanted to. He said something about how he would have to drug my drink, which would be difficult with all the patrons in the bar. And even if that was successful, he parked two blocks away. He expressed how difficult it would be to get a drugged girl to his car two blocks away. He commented about how many people would see him drag a girl to his car, so that if I were reported missing, a lot of the people we hypothetically passed would recognize him. Especially if I were missing and my picture were posted; someone would probably remember seeing a drugged me being dragged to a car. And of course, he would be afraid that someone would recognize him, or at least remember the type of car he drove, thus making it certain he would get caught.
Good to know that kidnapping me would be difficult, I guess. Clearly he put enough thought into it to assure me that it would be impossible for him to do without getting caught, which is the reassuring reason he gave me on why he would not kidnap me.