Monthly Archives: January 2015

The “Inappropriate Comments” Guy

On this date, I mentioned that I had Uber-ed there. The date was mediocre at best.  I went to the bathroom, and when I came back he was looking at a news article and telling me about this woman who had been sexually assaulted by her uber driver.  He showed me the article and it went into detail about how this guy basically kidnapped some drunk girl who was using the app and took her to a hotel room etc. Like really creepy and inappropriate, especially considering he knew I uber-ed there and planned to uber back to my place.

After realizing this, he apologized and said he realized he should not have brought it up, right when I was about to uber home. So anyway, I DO uber home, and so does he.  He texts me later that night:


As you can see I choose to continuously not respond to him.

I seriously considering writing “yeah, I always think sexual assault is super funny too.”  But since it was my friend who set us up, I didn’t want to be a total bitch. So for those of you who are curious how it ended:

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The “Clingy Night Club” Guy

My friend lived in Baltimore and was visiting the west coast for a few days.  During this time, she went to a nightclub, drunkenly made out with a friend of a friend and exchanged numbers.  They texted a couple times, but my friend really didn’t take a vacation/nightclub make out seriously. She went back to Baltimore and then he started texting that he was thinking about visiting the east coast.  She asked why and he said “no reason.”  He was actually thinking about visiting Baltimore, but didn’t have a place to stay….

I don’t think he ever straight up said he was going to see her or that he wanted to stay with her, but it was heavily implied.  Now that I think about it, I’m not even sure how that ended.  I know that he never ended up going to see her and I assume she just stopped responding to him.

Guys always complain about clingy girls—but guys can be just as bad stage 5 clingers.


The “Money for Gas” Guy

This guy had been so nice and we really got a long.  He wanted to go out dancing, and some of his friends were going to be at this venue. Since parking was kind of a pain, I asked if he would pick me up.  I honestly did not think it was that big of a deal.  He said he would, but also said because my house is “a little out of his way” if I would give him $5 for gas.  Of course I said ok, even though I thought that was weird.  But gas was pricey at the time, so I was understanding.

When I got in the car, I told him since cover was $5, I’d just pay for his cover instead of just giving him the cash.  At first he said that was fine, then he thought about it.  He said since his friends would be there, he didn’t want to make it look like he was bringing me and I was paying for his cover. Heaven forbid his friends see a girl pay for him!  He asked me to give him the $10 bill so that he could look like he was paying for both of us.

In the moment I was just confused, but the more I thought about it the more I realized how stupid and offensive it was.  I can’t handle someone who is that immature, insecure and cheap.


The “Sexy Dad” Guy

This honestly creeps me out and it happens enough that I can have an entry, which makes me kind of sad.  Previously, I’ve written about guys who post the shirtless selfie–totally class-less.  There’s also the weird bed pose selfie, flexing muscles selfie and holding up the shirt so the abs are exposed selfie.

I assume that these guys are going for “sexy” and who knows, maybe it works on some girls….but anyway the real problem is I will occasionally come across a profile that has one of these weird “sexy” pictures…and then I’ll swipe to the next picture and it’ll be them with their adorable child.

Seriously, “sexy” picture, and then playing with their offspring.  Those two should NEVER be associated together, and it is NOT ok!  Like I’m supposed to think “this guy is hot” and the next picture see your child?!  “Oh, look, he’s a good father too!”

Either stick with JUST the sexy pictures so it’s pretty obvious what you are looking for or JUST stick with the kid pictures so you look like a good dad.  Having both back to back just makes you look like a horrible father AND a douchey person.


The “Math” Guy

I went on a date with this guy who was an engineer and graduated from an Ivy League university.  Most people who know me, know that I am REALLY bad at math.  Like embarrassingly so…I haven’t taken a math course since high school and I use my phone to calculate the tip.

I think maybe it was this guys “move” to impress girls, but he decided to do one of those “magic math” questions.  Like take a two digit number, subtract it by the inverse, multiply this, add this blah blah…I don’t remember.  Anyway, so we did that and he was like “you got the number 80, right?”  and I said no, because I honestly had not.  He was perplexed so we did it again and I picked different number….still didn’t get 80.  And again with a different number….still didn’t get 80.  I was attempting to do this math all in my head.  And I kept telling him that I’m really bad at math, and I’m probably just doing the math in my head wrong.  (This game also isn’t fun for me, because I hate math.)

Then he took out a napkin and had me do it with a pen…still didn’t get 80.  I think I did it twice with a napkin and a pen and neither time did I get the number I was supposed to.  I kept hinting that this was also not fun for me…so at that point it was a combination of me being horrible at math and me being really bored and not caring.  I just wanted to move on and talk about something else, but he was really fixated and obviously frustrated that his “move” was not impressing me.

This lame Ivy League kid was so perplexed that I kept getting the wrong number, and it was apparently supposed to “wow” me. Finally I told him what number I picked and he verbally walked me through the process of how I should have gotten 80, (yay…).

I wish I was making this one up or exaggerating it, but this is exactly how it happened.  At the point that I am 1. bad at math and 2. not enjoying the game….why would we play it 5 times?! And then walk me through the process when I clearly didn’t care.

The “Doesn’t Walk You” Guy

I had been dating this guy and one of our dates ended around 11pm.  We drove separately and parked in different places.  I told him where I was parked, he hugged me said “ok, well over on a different street” and left me to walk alone to my car.  It was late, it was dark and we were not in the safest neighborhood.

I don’t think women are totally helpless–I just expect the person I’m dating to care about me, like anyone else would.  When I’m with my girlfriends and it’s late at night I wouldn’t want any of them walking alone to their car.

I was pretty annoyed that he lacked such concern for my safety and well-being.  He didn’t even text me to make sure I got home ok, for all he knows I could have been kidnapped!

Definitely a red flag when the guy you’re dating doesn’t even care about you like you would a friend.