Monthly Archives: December 2014

The “Hi” Guy

I have been online dating for a while, and I honestly don’t understand guys who just right “hi.”  Not, “hi, how are you.” Or “How is your weekend going” or even “I hope you are having a nice day.”

None of my male friends will admit to doing this, and I would honestly love to ask these men why they do that.  Do they just message every profile they see “hi” and hope that of the hundreds of women they message one or two will message them back? And on the off chance that someone DOES message them back, does the conversation continue and is it a quality conversation?

Are these guys even selective of who they say “hi” to?  Do they read profiles?  Do they even look at pictures, or its it just like shooting a machine gun at a flock of ducks and hoping you hit one?

I am also curious about IF women ever message them back and what happens after that.  Maybe one of these days I’ll say “hi” back and see what happens.  If that is the case, I will take notes and report back.

Most of the men who say “hi” have the type of profiles you would expect–no effort in their profiles, poorly written, uneducated and socially awkward.  However, once in a blue moon, I will get a “hi” message and be pleasantly surprised.  Like a guy who is good looking, well educated, with a sufficient and grammatically correct profile.  For these people I am so tempted to write back “you seem like such a normal, smart guy! Why are you just messaging women and saying ‘hi’?! Put a little more effort into it!”

The “School Shooting” Guy

My friend gave me the number for her friend who she thought would be a good match with me.  This happened right around the time of a tragic school shooting.  This guy and I  had been exchanging text message for a bit–just small talk.  And the day after the incident he said “hey, did you hear about the shooting.”  Obviously I had because it was all over the news, so I told him yes, and that it seems really tragic.

He is an alum of that university and I understand that must have been shocking and difficult for him, but he brought up the school shooting EVERYDAY via text message before we actually met.  This went on for about a week.  He didn’t know anyone who was involved in the incident, nor does he have any friends who still live in the town.

As tragic as the school shooting was–him talking about it, honestly made me feel SO uncomfortable.  I didn’t know what to say, and I honestly just didn’t know how to console someone I’d never met before.  He would say things like

“yeah…you just never think something like this is going to happen.”

“I used to live right around there.”

“I used to go to that bar, I used to hang out there.”

“I actually lived in that area till just a few years ago, and I would go back to visit, I just can’t believe it.”

“I spent four years of my life there and it was such a happy place, I just never thought someone would even be capable of doing that”

“It’s so shocking and sad, I can’t believe it.”

I still met up with him and wanted to keep an open mind about him.  Obviously, he brought up the school shooting on our date, which I tried to be prepared for.  Even keeping an open mind, I didn’t have the desire to see him again.

 

The “Sleepover” Guy

My friend was dating this guy and she was having her first “sleep over” with him.  I’m not exactly sure how it came about, but I imagine she suggested they watch a movie and since he lived far, he could spend the night.

She said when he answered the door, he literally had a toothbrush and a t-shirt in his hand–nothing else.  No wallet, no cell phone–then again, why would he need it if they were just staying in, right?  Not even a plastic bag with stuff in it. There he was, standing on her doorstep with a toothbrush and a t-shirt.

I don’t really know how their relationship was or what exactly ended up happening that night.  But him showing up like that was so presumptuous and seriously lacked class.

Guys–even if you know it’s a sure try to act coy, be classy and show up respectfully. Keep your gym bag with stuff in it in the car or something.

The “Drinking and Driving” Guy

This is definitely, definitely a red flag, and actually probably more sad than funny.  But in light up the upcoming holidays, I thought it would be a fitting post.

My boyfriend called me one night and I could tell he was really drunk so I made him promise he wouldn’t drive until he sobered up.  I told him to get some water, and sleep in his car if he had to, and then call me when he got home.  He promised.  And then he called me 15 minutes later–I asked if he was feeling better and if he was sobering up and he said “No, I just got home.”  Perplexed–I questioned if he drove, and he said he did.  His house is 15 minutes away from where he was–meaning he drove right after he hung up with me.  I was just so relieved that he was home, and safe that I said good night and decided to continue the conversation the next day.

Another time, he told me he was going out, so we had the SAME TALK about him not drinking and driving and he said he wouldn’t.  The next day, he complained about being super hung over.  When I asked him if he drove, he said he did but he was fine.  I told him that if he was hungover, that means he was NOT fine when he drove home the night before.  You can’t be sober, drive home AND be hung over.

This was a point of tension in our relationship and honestly partially what lead to our inevitable demise.  This was YEARS ago and one thing that sticks out to me to this day is once when we were getting into an argument about it he actually said “I don’t know why you get so upset about me drinking and driving–the only person I’m hurting when I do it is me.”  I still can’t believe the stupidity and selfishness of that statement.