One guy messaged me and wrote “hey, where are you from and what do you like to do for fun.” Ok–did you not read my profile?! I probably came off as a complete B but I responded with “Hey, if you bothered to read my profile at all, the first sentence is where I was born and raised and the second sentence is what I do for fun. I am not interested in someone who clearly just looks at pictures and messages women.”
I am sorry but I could not resist! Do guys just look at the pictures think “cool, I’ll message her.” Without even reading one sentence?! And–if that is the case, who would respond to this man? I assume most women write where they are from and what they like to do for fun in their profile. And I cannot possibly be the only person who was offended by his message.
I know I totally called him out on it, but I consider it a public service. Hopefully he learned something and will read a couple of sentences before he messages the next person.
My friend said she was on a date with this guy, and it was going decently. Something was on the menu that he was allergic to, so I think the conversation casually came up. He asked her if she was allergic to anything and she said she was slightly lactose intolerant. She said she can eat ice cream, and have some milk in her coffee or cereal but she can’t drink a glass of milk.
He asked, and she gave him an honest answer of what she was allergic to. Then he said “oh, what happens to you when you drink a glass of milk?”
Really–this is a first date and the allergy question kind of came up organically but does he really need to know what HAPPENS when she drinks milk? Because the honest truth is that she gets terrible runs and explosive diarrhea. But is she supposed to tell him that?
I think she just said she gets an “upset stomach” and he got the clue and the subject was changed. She said the date was a series of him asking awkward questions in what appeared to be a way of keeping the conversation going, but failing.
My friend set me up with her co-worker and about five minutes into the date, this guy took out his phone and showed me his background which was a picture of an attractive woman. I did not react. But he continued with “don’t worry that’s not my girlfriend, that’s just my friend that died last year.”
I just said something awkward like “oh….sorry….”
And he went on a 30 minute tangent about how they used to work together at a bar and she was walking home from work and was killed by a drunk driver.
Super tragic, and I would never belittle someone’s pain from losing a loved one. But I would like to reiterate that this was a first date, and that I did not ask to hear any of this.
I reacted like anyone else would and just expressed my condolences.
Later when my friend asked me how it went, I told her that he seemed nice, but clearly had some issues he needed to work out from his friends death. And she said “yeah…a few of our coworkers have mentioned to him that he should see a therapist about it.” She went on to tell me that this guy talks about this woman who passed away often, and is clearly still disturbed by it–so much so that he talks about her death inappropriately frequently at work. So then I confronted her about setting me up with someone who she knows needs psychological help and she apologized and said that she thought if I didn’t bring it up, then he wouldn’t.
This boyfriend had been with his ex girlfriend for like four years. I don’t really know what happened or why they broke up. Nor did I really care. He would often make comments about her–stuff like how she was not that smart and he didn’t think she was that pretty. I’m not sure if he actually felt like this, or it was meant to make me feel less insecure about this person he dated for so long. Regardless, I was annoyed. I think he was trying to put my mind at ease about her, but it is a very unattractive quality to complain about an ex who you were with for four years. Obviously, there was stuff about her he liked and was attracted to, otherwise he never would have gone out with her in the first place, or stayed with her for so long.
So I confronted him about this, and said it was not an attractive quality in him, and also made me kind of worried. If we break up are you going to talk negatively about me to your new girlfriend–because that’s not cool either.
THEN he started saying all these GREAT things about her–like how she was so sweet and compassionate and whenever they were over at someone’s house, she would be the first to help with cleaning up and washing the dishes.
And I was like “No, No No.” This is not what I meant—how about we just not talk about her at all?
I feel like BOTH speaking very negatively about an ex OR very positively about an ex are red flags in a relationship–and I somehow ended up with a two in one.