I had been going out with this guy for a while and we decided to go to a concert–which turned out to be a great show! This was so long ago that I honestly don’t remember who suggested the concert..
He requested that I pick him up from work, which was no problem at all. I picked him up, drove to the venue, and the parking was $20. I gave the attendant cash and parked my car. This guy did not even blink–I guess his justification would be that it is my car, and I was driving even though he requested me to. We get to the box office and he buys his one ticket and steps aside. So then I go up to the box office and purchase my own ticket.
At this point I had driven to pick him up from work, driven to the venue, parked my car for $20 and bought my own ticket to the concert. I definitely consider myself a gender-equality advocate so this is not about the man not driving or paying or whatever. If ANYONE–friend, date, acquaintance–picked me up from work and then spent $20 to park I would definitely at least offer to pay for some of it. And if I did not pay for parking–I would offer to buy his or her ticket.
I think what bothered me was his inconsiderate attitude. To be clear–this is someone that I had not been dating that long so we were still in our–need to impress each other because nothing is locked down–phase. He failed to impress.
I was exchanging messages back and forth with this guy. He finally asked me for my number so I left it with him–I did not get his. A couple days later I get a text from an unknown number that says “What would you do with the money of you won the lottery?”
I thought that it was probably this guy that I was messaging, but it also sounds a little like a marketing scheme so I ignored it. I figure that a mature man would identify himself before texting a woman he met online.
A few hours later, the same number said “hello?”
I still did not respond–this could be anyone and I am cautious about marketing companies, telemarketers or former acquaintances who I no longer have in my phone obtaining my number and knowing it’s me.
A few hours later the number said “I was waiting for a witty response…this is *****”
In which I responded “Oh, sorry, I don’t respond to text messages when I don’t know who is texting me.” To which he said “I was waiting for you to respond so we could banter before I slowly revealed myself.”
….I am so curious about who that would work on….
My friend went out with this guy who is good-looking, had a great job etc. etc. He mentioned that he had not dated anyone seriously in two years–so my friend figured she was all good on the “rebound” front.
On the second date–they dug a little deeper and he started talking about fights he had gotten into with his ex girlfriend–a little too much information regarding an ex for a second date. My friend was feeling uncomfortable at this point, and was trying the wrap the date up quickly when he started CRYING and telling her that his ex girlfriend was the love of his life and he let her get away. She was confused and said “I thought you said your last serious relationship was two years ago.”
He said it was! And his ex girlfriend has been MARRIED and recently posted on facebook that her and her husband are expecting their first child. Turns out the only reason he decided to start dating again was because he found out his ex girlfriend–who has clearly moved on and gotten over him–is expecting a child with her now-husband.
Apparently, her dating someone new, getting engaged, and getting married wasn’t enough to encourage him to move on–it took them expecting a child for him to date again and even then, he apparently traumatized my friend with all his baggage.
This date was going well–he was attractive and we were having a great conversation. And then the conversation sort of got a little strange.
Him: What are sex stories?
Him: What are sex stories–you said on your profile that you like sex stories?
Me: (making sure I heard him correctly) I’m sorry sex…?!
Him: stories–you said you like sex stories
Me: What the hell are sex stories?!
Him: Oh, I was going to ask you that…since it was on your profile
Me: Um…no, it wasn’t. I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Him: Oh, sorry.
And we kind of blew past that. It was kind of weird, but I had this “just go with it” kind of attitude. I was also understanding–honestly when you are online dating you see SO many peoples profiles, I guess it’s easy to mix them up.
Him: So what do you consider successful?
Him: It says on your profile that you are striving to be successful, so I was just wondering what you need to achieve in order to consider yourself successful.
Me: It doesn’t say that.
Him: Yes it does.
Me: (being SURE I did not write that I am “striving to be successful” on my profile) Let’s see.
I take out my smart phone, pull up the online dating app, and hand my phone to him so he can see my profile. He looks at it all confused, skims it up and down and
Him: Is this all it says?
Him: Did you add or take away anything?
Me: No, it’s been exactly the same since I created my profile, I’ve never changed anything.
Him: Really, are you sure?
So at this point I realize that although we had been messaging and although he did recognize me when we met, I was NOT the person he thought I was. He apparently thought he was going on a date with a woman who “likes sex stories” and is “striving to be successful.”