My friend set me up with this guy–I didn’t know a ton about him, but she told me his name, showed me a picture and gave us each others numbers. He seemed fine via text message–totally normal and interested in meeting up.
In the middle of the week, he suggested we meet up on Sunday for a drink. I told him that was fine. On Saturday, he texted totally apologizing saying that something came up. No problem so we re-arranged for Monday after work.
Monday morning came and I get a text apologizing profusely saying that he has to reschedule again–he has a presentation at work on Tuesday that he needs to meet with a co-worker to prepare. No problem so we re-arranged for Thursday.
Thursday comes and he wants to reschedule for Friday. At this point it’s been about a week of us attempting to plan our first date and he is starting to make me feel like a loser with no-life since he is constantly rescheduling and I am always free whenever he wants to reschedule. We had never met so it was totally harmless, but I was worried that it would be indicative of how dating him would be. Obviously that is getting a little ahead of myself, but I can’t help but wonder if his life is a constant slew of rescheduling encounters with people!
For the record, we did eventually meet up and have a date. It didn’t work out.
My boyfriend was very comfortable around me–he was funny and sweet and a great conversationalist. However, for some reason all this went out the window when he was around my parents. They thought he was weird and awkward and borderline rude because he could not carry on a conversation and gave one-word answers when they were being friendly.
It was SO important to me that my parents approved of my boyfriend–and so frustrating that they could not see what a great guy he was. I tried not to put the pressure on him, since I think the whole “being around the girlfriends parents” was already causing him anxiety. But I did mention that it was important to me that he try to converse with them.
My family was talking about how horrible the traffic was and how commuting was getting ridiculous. He was completely silent the entire time–seriously not one word–just stood completely mute (which attributed to my parents thinking he was a complete weirdo). When I finally pulled him aside I said “why are you being so silent? you’re not even kind of trying!” His response was “But I don’t want to talk about the traffic.”
I did not say this at the time, but in my head I was thinking “I don’t care what YOU want to talk about–my parents are talking about the traffic–so you should be talking about the fricken traffic!”
I understand that being around the girlfriends parents can be nerveracking–but being with someone who does not even KIND OF TRY after he is specifically asked to, is a huge red flag.
Back when I was brand new to the online dating scene–it was very exciting to get a decent, coherent message. On the date, I told him it was my first time meeting someone in person. He said it was his too, even though he had been online for almost a year. I found that kind of surprising since he seemed nice, well rounded, intelligent etc. He told me that I was actually the second person to ever message him back. I asked him who the first girl was and why they never met up.
*before I continue with this story, it is important to note that I am not Indian.
He said that it was this girl from another state and naturally I asked why he would message someone who wasn’t even remotely in the same area.
*before I continue with this story, it is also important to note that this guy IS Indian.
He said (to me, the NOT Indian girl) “well, she was Indian, and I know she’s far away but I really want to find an Indian girl, so if it’s an Indian girl, I’m willing to stretch my limits a lot and go out of my way to talk to her, even if she’s far away.”
AND..we’re done here.
I don’t know how other women feel about eating habits–but I personally cannot date someone who eats like a child. This one guy asked me out and specifically said he wanted to go out for a drink–and we were meeting at 9pm. So all signs pointed to us getting a drink….right?
I made a quick dinner at home after work, got ready and headed over. He asked me if I was hungry and I told him I had eaten already. He seemed surprised and said that he was starving since he hadn’t eaten dinner. Um…if you wanted it to be a dinner date, you probably should have been clear about that.
So I sat there politely sipping my wine as this man-child devoured a meal–which was hard to watch. He had his elbows on the table was disgustingly grabbing handfuls of bread and sloppily dipping it in the hummus before stuffing his mouth and continuously talking to me while chewing.
He was even worse with the fork, since he held it in an upside-down fist like a four year old and was scooping his food into his mouth as if I were fighting him for it.
This was our first and only date–I didn’t want to find out what his table manners would be like once he was actually comfortable with me.
I was with this guy for a while and I knew that his ex girlfriend had some insecurities when it came to me. I had never actually met her, but some of his friends still kept in touch with her, so it was sometimes a little awkward.
He invited me to his friends house for a BBQ. As we were driving there, I was asking him which friends these are, and who was going to be there. We are literally pulling up to the house and as he’s naming people he says “oh, my ex girlfriend will be there.” I looked at him kind of shocked that I was not warned about this ahead of time–she and I had never interacted. And he said “don’t worry, I told her you’re coming.” Which I assume was supposed to be comforting, but I made him pass the house, pull over and I said “WHAT?!”
I told him I was shocked that he would have the forethought to courteously tell his ex girlfriend that his new girlfriend was going to be with him at the BBQ, meanwhile completely blindsiding his new girlfriend 30 seconds before we pull into the house with a “oh…by the way…”
When your current boyfriend has more respect for his ex girlfriends feelings than for yours, that is probably a sign that you should get out while you can.