My friend has a good job in a law firm, and she loves it. She had only gone out with this guy a few times, and it seemed to be going well. Her firm has one office downtown and one office on the east side of town; my friend worked in the east office. She was telling him some story about a conversation between her and a co-worker and the guy did one of those “then what did he say?” She corrected him and said that her co-worker is a female–then went on a little tangent and the conversation went like this:
My Friend: “Actually, everyone in my office is female.”
Guy: “Really? There’s no men in your office?”
My Friend: “Nope, all women”
Guy : “Oh, so all the attorneys are at the downtown office?”
My Friend: “…what?”
Guy “Is your office all staff then, and all the attorneys are downtown?”
My Friend: “No…..”
Guy: “But….oh, ok.”
My Friend: “Wait…I tell you that my office is all female, and you automatically assume that there are no attorneys?”
I don’t even have words to describe this conversation–it’s disgusting and sad.
Often times after meeting an online guy for the first time, it does not work out. This guy suggested we go on a hike and then eat afterwards which I thought was way too intense for a first online date. I told him we should just have lunch. He texted back something short like “fine.” When I confronted him about it he said “well, it just seems like you had something better to do.” I did not say this aloud, but I thought, “does it make you feel better that I did not have anything better to do and just didn’t want to go?”
After a first date, it’s pretty obvious if a second date is desired. He was nice, but kind of weird and boring and I don’t think I was really what he was looking for either. An hour after I got home from the date he texted and said “Hey, today was fun, when do you want to go out again?”
I replied “It was nice meeting you, I wasn’t really feeling it, so no thanks, but good luck!” which I thought was really nice. We met online and were not invested in each other at all, so no second date = no big deal.
This guy does not take rejection well, and he proceeded to yell at me (via text) arguing my decision. He said things like “you don’t even know me! you can’t judge me, we only had one meal together, that’s not enough to get to know someone, you didn’t even want to go on the hike with me–we didn’t do any activity together and you can’t really get to know someone by having just one meal together. I really think you should take my advice….” blah blah blah.
Wow, you’ve convinced me! You’re totally right and now I want to go on a second date….
What a weirdo, thanks for verifying my decision.
This guy asked me to dinner, and I told him I finished work at 10pm. He said that was fine, and he’d swing by my work place at 10pm to pick me up.
Being that I got off work late, I knew that there were very few restaurants in the area that stayed open late. So via text message–I specifically told him to check the restaurant to make sure it would be open. He said not to worry about it and asked if I wanted to go bowling afterwards as well. I love bowling, and I thought that was a cute date idea, so I again told him to make sure the bowling alley is open.
1) He knows I get off work at 10pm 2) I specifically asked him to check the time. He picks me up, takes me to this restaurant he assures me is open, since it’s also a bar and he’s been there a ton of times late at night. We get there around 10:15pm and, *surprise* their kitchen closes at 10pm so we are out of luck. I actually am really hungry, but instead of finding an alternative, this guy orders a beer. The waitress feels so bad for me, she brings me a bread and cheese plate–no kitchen necessary to make.
I should NOT have continued this date but we get to the bowling alley around 11:30pm, and already annoyed about the lack of food in my stomach, I ask him if he checked the time. He said “no, but it’ll be fine.” We get up to the door–it was open and the sign on the door said it was open till 1am. And not kidding–this jerk decides to give me crap for doubting him; “see! I told you it’d be fine–you thought it wouldn’t be open…see all these people here, so many lanes are taken, lots of people play late! I can’t believe you thought it would be closed, psht.”
We get to the counter and *surprise* the bowling alley stays open till 1am, but they stop letting people pay for games at 11pm. He kind of walked off in a tail-between-his-legs kind of way. We didn’t say much on the walk out or the car ride back to my car. In this case, I guess silence was more appropriate.
This is one of my ex boyfriends–he is remaining nameless in case he ever stumbles upon this blog. I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person–and I considered him a fairly intelligent person (at first). He was well-educated, he had a good job etc etc.
We would get into HUGE stupid fights because he was mildly intimidated by my intelligence which was so weird for me because I never thought that I was smarter than him–he just had a weird complex. This conversation lead to one of the biggest fights we ever had:
Me: Can you be more articulate, I don’t understand what you’re saying.
Me: You need to be more articulate, I can’t understand you.
Me: You’re mumbling! You need to speak more clearly, I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Him: Why didn’t you just say “speak more clearly?!” Why do you have to say “Be more articulate?!” You are trying to use big words to make me feel stupid!
(I sincerely wish I were exaggerating this conversation to be comical, but I assure you, I am not)
Me: I’m not trying to make you feel stupid! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be condescending.
Him: You’re doing it again! Why do you have to say “condescending.” I’m sorry I’m not as smart as you, but you don’t have to rub it in my face!
And it pretty much escalated from there.
This does not just have to do with using big words–if any man is remotely intimidated by your intelligence, your success, your career, ANYTHING, it is definitely a relationship red flag.
My friend was dating this guy who rode a motorcycle. They were entertaining the idea of moving in together, so they thought it would be a good idea if she learned to ride the motorcycle in case he needed to use her car. Makes sense, right?
They went to this empty parking lot for her to try it out–I was not there for this but I saw the bruises after. She said she was trying to turn and the motorcycle totally fell on her. Luckily she was wearing a helmet, and traveling slowly, but she still banged up her shoulder and her leg pretty badly.
My first reaction was asking her if she’s ok, and what happened etc–apparently her boyfriends first reaction was to run over and scream at her for scratching his motorcycle. He didn’t help her up or ask her if she was ok, or get her some first aid. He was really fixated on his bike getting scratched up.
Thank goodness my friend came to her senses and broke it off before they moved in together.