Category Archives: Online Dating

The “Closure” Guy

My friend met someone online and they went on one date.  It was mediocre at best and she was not devastated when she didn’t hear from him.  FIVE days after the date, he texted to say that he had a good time, but he’s not interested.  She did not initiate the conversation, and was completely fine with letting it die.  Why would he go out of his way after radio silence for five days to say he doesn’t want to date her?  Obviously he hadn’t heard from her either, so she was not interested in dating him.  Anyway, she totally called him out and said “I don’t know why you felt the need to text me after 5 days to tell me you’re not interested, but thanks, I’m not interested either.”  And his response was that he felt she needed “closure.” WTF. Like she’s been staring at her phone for 5 days waiting for him to contact her?  This guy was obviously so full of himself he felt that my poor, pathetic friend had been waiting by the phone, so she obviously needed to hear that he was not interested.

The “First Date” Guy

I met this guy online and went on a first date with him.  It was fine.  He texted me a day later and asked if I wanted to go on a second date with him.  I said “sure.”  He seriously texted back and said “I’m actually kind of surprised you are agreeing to go on a second date with me–you seemed to be judging me on the first date.”

First of all, who does not judge someone on a first date, especially someone they met online, so no surprise there–pretty sure that’s what first dates are for.  Secondly, if he felt uncomfortable with it, why would you ask me out again?  And third–why would you bring it up?!  Yeah, I judged you, I don’t really know you, I agreed to go on a second date with you. Big deal–why ruin it by calling me out and saying something like that?  The second date never happened. I said something like “I thought that’s what first dates were for, but I’m definitely judging you for this conversation.”  And he said “I don’t care if you’re judging me, I want an explanation.”  Um…an explanation about why I want to go on a second date with you?  Well, I don’t anymore, so problem solved.

The “Emoticons” Guy

I understand that texting is a way to communicate and express yourself.  I tend to be cutesy with my use of emoticons, but I am also an expressive and happy person so they are just a tool for me to convey my feelings.  This might be hypocritical but I am kind of turned off by guys who use an excessive amount of emoticons–especially the cutesy ones.  One or two smiley faces at the end of the conversation is ok “Have a good night :)”  but a smiley face or a winky face in each text message is way too much. It makes me picture a constantly smiling, talking to children cartoon character or something which is a little creepy.

 

The “Baseball” Guy

This story is for baseball season.  My friend is really into sports, and is from LA so naturally a Dodgers fan. She met a guy online and on their date, baseball came up and she mentioned that her team is the Dodgers.  He literally said “Dodgers are cocksuckers.”

I’m confused–he is on a first date with a woman, she mentions she’s a fan of the Dodgers, and that is his response?!  Sure, if you hate the Dodgers, that’s fine, but why would you says “cocksuckers” to a woman on a first date, and why would you describe your disliking for a sports team like that?  I feel like there were much more tactful ways he could have stated that he does not share an interest in her baseball team.

The “No Show” Guy

If you plan a day, time and place to meet someone, BE THERE.  I asked my friend if she wanted to get brunch, and she said she couldn’t because he had a date with some guy she was talking to from an online site.  Great! I texted her that night to ask her how it went and she said “he never showed up.”  I was so confused! I thought there HAD to be some kind of miscommunication or explanation that later he would text and say he went to the wrong restaurant or something like that.  She showed me the text messages and it was absolutely clear when and where they would meet.  I felt so bad thinking about her sitting there by herself and waiting, but she said she knows other women who have experienced the same thing.  I asked if she texted or called him to demand an explanation and she said no, she was over it.

The “Adventurous” Date

My friend met up with this guy from an online dating site.  The first dates are generally short and sweet, just to make sure they are who they say they are and that maybe a second date will happen.  After the first decent date, they spent a few days with nice and flirtatious text messages.  He texted “would you like to go out again? We can have an adventure.”  She told me about it and was happy that he asked her out again, and we mused about what kind of “adventure” he could possibly be planning. A nice hike or a cool new restaurant?  Who knows.  She responded that she would love to and they decided on a day about a week out.  Two days before this “adventurous” date, he texted her and said “so what did you have in mind? I can meet you where ever”  Wait…he asked her out, he specifically said they would have an adventure and now he wants her to plan it? First of all, if you are asking someone out, take some initiative and plan it.  Secondly, if you specify that it will be something awesome, you should probably already have something planned.

The “Quick to Judge” Guy

I met up with this guy who had just moved to town.  After a couple casual coffee or drink dates, we decided to go on (a short) hike.  It was a popular hike and I thought it would be cool to take him there.  It was a little crowded and we happened to be in front of a couple of teenage girls who were talking about boys, clothes and make-up.  I wasn’t really paying attention since I was focused on our conversation.  But when we finished the hike he said “wow, I guess everyone in this town is really superficial.” Yes, let’s judge an entire town on two teenagers you were in front of for an hour.

The “Are You Dating Someone?” Guy

I was literally sent messages by guys and the first thing they would say is “hey are you dating someone right now?” First of all–if I was seriously dating someone why would I be online dating?  Also, why not start with an opener–ask me how I’m doing and if I don’t respond, maybe that means I’m dating someone.  They do not say anything to try to remotely connect and just say “hey are you dating someone right now?” That question just requires a yes or no answer.  It is not the initiation of a great conversation that would lead to a date.

The “Abbreviations” Guy

When I was online dating, I was totally turned off by people who used unnecessary abbreviation when attempting to describe themselves.  This is literally the first thing people read-this is your first chance to make a good impression on people “an if ur goin 2 type lyk dis” then I am going to assume you have the cognitive ability of a child, and that you will most likely communicate like that in person as well. Please type like a normal adult when you are presenting yourself to the single women of the internet.

The “Abbreviations” Guy

When I was online dating, I was totally turned off by people who used unnecessary abbreviation when attempting to describe themselves.  This is literally the first thing people read-this is your first chance to make a good impression on people “an if ur goin 2 type lyk dis” then I am going to assume you have the cognitive ability of a child, and that you will most likely communicate like that in person as well. Please type like a normal adult when you are presenting yourself to the single women of the internet.