Category Archives: Guy I’ve Actually Dated

The “Vocabulary” Guy

The guy I was dating was complaining to me about a woman he works with.  He was talking about how frustrating it is because she would say things like “aw you poor thing.”  And calls people “honey.”  I said “wow, she sounds like she’s really condescending.  His response was “she’s not condescending, she just talks to everyone like they’re a four year old.”  …what?

 

The “Highway” Guy

I had just moved to California and was out on a date with a guy.  He had moved there recently too, and was giving me all kinds of tips, which was nice.  He said “The thing you have to remember about Los Angeles is–the highway numbers that end in an odd number go North and South and the highway numbers that end in an even number go East and West.”

I looked at him kind of puzzled and said “…Isn’t it like that…everywhere?” He said “No, that’s only in Los Angeles.”  Even at that time, I was pretty well traveled, and knew that freeways spanned across several cities and states.  I also knew that everywhere in the country even number highways go East and West and odd number highways go North and South.

The “Pointer” Guy

I once dated a guy who had a major pointing problem and it was really embarrassing.  One night we were out to dinner and of course my ex walks in. Awkward enough.  I just casually said “oh, man, my ex is here.”  The guy I was on a date with conspicuously looks around and straight up stretches his arm, full-on points and says (not quietly) “Who? That guy?”  I said “um…could you not point at him please?”  He drew his arms in and whispered “but is it that guy?”  still pointing, although not as obviously. It’s awkward enough running into an ex when you’re on a date, but to have the guy you’re on a date with literally point it out is mortifying.

The “Judgmental” Guy

I generally feel better and more relaxed when I have a clean and un-cluttered house.  I don’t think this is unusual, most people feel happy and at ease when everything is put away and they can come home to a tidy place.  I expressed this to the guy I was dating and he made me feel like it was the dumbest thing anyone has ever said.  “I don’t understand why your surroundings should matter, if you’re a happy person, you should be happy no matter what your house looks like.” At the time, I really did feel stupid for being happy about cleaning my house but now that we aren’t dating and I’ve moved on, as I’ve reflected on his statements I realize how douchey they are.

The “Bad Movie” Guy

I was dating this guy and he called me up to tell me that he and some friends were going to the movies and invited me.  I asked what movie–it was some horrible comedy that I had seen previews for and was not remotely interested in seeing.  I politely told him that I was not interested in the movie and that we would see each other soon. He said he wanted to spend time with me and insisted I come.  I liked him, but I honestly did NOT want to sit through the movie.  Sitting through some horrible movie for two hours with his friends isn’t something I would consider “quality time.”  Again, I told him I really did not want to see the movie, and thought it would be a waste of time and money.  He countered, by telling me that he would pay for me.  This was not an issue of wasting MY money–I would not want ANYONE to waste money on me for a movie I did not want to see.  I understand that he was hurt that I would not come, and that he genuinely did want to spend time with me. But his lack of respecting my decision and trying to get me to do something I had absolutely no desire to do was a complete turn off.

 

The “Halloween Costume” Guy

To be in the Halloween spirit, I decided to post this story.  Years ago for Halloween, I wanted to be a character from a movie.  I took a screenshot of her and showed it to the guy I was dating when we were shopping for Halloween costumes. This is the exact image I showed him:

 

 

gogoyubari

 

So I got the high knee socks, and plaid skirt.  I already had a black jacket, so I didn’t want to buy another one.  I showed him the jacket and he was like “wait, yours has black buttons and this one is gold!”  My bow-tie was also all black and he zoomed up on the picture and was like “but hers has a little red in it!”

He seriously agonized over the image, picking apart every tiny detail, and criticizing my lax way of doing my costume.  It’s a Halloween costume, not a look alike contest. And for the record, people still got it. It was really weird and really annoying when I thought going Halloween costume shopping together would be fun.

The “Cryptic Texter” Guy

I was dating a guy who was really busy. He worked one full time job and one part time job. I happened to meet him during a lull, so for the first few weeks, we spent a ton of time together.  I had to learn to adjust, and I understood that he had a taxing schedule.  We saw each other less, which wasn’t a big deal.  I got a text from him one day that started with “hey, so I feel like I’m really letting you down…” and went into a long spiel about how he can’t spend as much time with me etc.  I was a little confused, thinking it might be his way of saying he no longer wants to date me.  I responded with “I totally understand that you’re busy and really don’t mind.” Or something like that.  He didn’t respond, which is what made me think he was kind of breaking up with me.  Anyway, fast forward a couple days–I did hear from him to want to hang out, so we had a date and it seemed totally normal.  I asked him about his cryptic text and what he meant by it, and why he never responded.  He said he just felt like he was really letting me down with the lack of time we spend together and wanted to tell me.  He didn’t respond because he just “forgot” or “got busy.”  I don’t mind not seeing each other super often, but sending cryptic text messages and then leaving me hanging isn’t the best way to start off dating someone.

The “Won’t Sleep Over” Guy

I was going out with this guy and I thought things were going well.  We had gone on several dates and I felt like we really had a connection.  One night thing were going really well so I asked if he wanted to spend the night at my place.  His exact words were “I can’t sleep over since the last two girls I slept over with became my girlfriend.”

I didn’t even know where to start–first of all, super offensive that you are basically saying you never want me to be your girlfriend.  Secondly, that is a totally weird correlation–did these previous women imprison you till you agreed to be in a relationship with them?

The “Bad Kisser” Guy

This story totally bums me out because I felt like I definitely had a spark with this guy.  We hit it off, things were going really well and the first time we made out it was indescribably awful.  Like teeth on teeth, saliva dripping everywhere.  I honestly cringe just re-living it to type this. If he had been halfway decent, maybe I would agree to go out with him again and we could work through it, but this was beyond repair.  I kept making out with him hoping it would get better and at one point I had to stop him and say “can you stop using so much teeth?” It was nails on a chalkboard unbearable.  I never saw him again.

 

The “Casual Friday” Guy

I hadn’t been dating this guy for that long, but the first time he slept over on a weeknight it was a Thursday.  We are both in the corporate world, but I happen to have casual Fridays in my office.  I put on some jeans, flats and a nice blouse.  I came out of my room, he literally looked me up and down and really judgmentally said “…jeans to work?” Yeah, you’re not my boss and I have casual Friday at my office.